Week #75 - 116.2
Week #76 - 116.6
Week #77 - 117.0
Week #78 - 116.8 - earned another bead...I already have the beads for 72, 78 and 84...feels good to actually be earning them now = )
I'm feeling really positive about maintaining my weight through the winter. We've had quite a bit of gray, damp, cloudy, cool and downright COLD days lately and I haven't been running hardly at all and not even doing much walking!
But I've been able to make adjustments in my eating and the numbers on the scale are staying steady. I've been able to enjoy the treats that come with Thanksgiving and Christmas and have not gained weight.
What I usually find is that if I over-indulge in too many sweets, they make me feel sickly and I end up not eating as much for the next day or two. Wow, what a perfect example of how my body really doesn't want that junk! Now if I could only convince my mouth....
I have seen a rise in my body fat percentage which doesn't make me happy but it's not throwing me into a panic either, which I'm pleased about. I have enough other stuff in my life that causes anxiety, it's nice to have something that DOESN'T cause it!
I watch the forecast for sunny days and temperate days and plan to take advantage of them when I can. I'm not pressuring myself to go out and do a workout just for the sake of getting it done.
I have to get 55 miles for December if I want to finish with 1000 miles for the year. I was on schedule to get 1200 miles but that's not gonna happen now. Disappointed but not terribly so.
I really do want to find some kind of exercise that I WANT to do as much as I love to run and walk outside on nice days. For all you hot-weather haters...the way you feel about hot weather is exactly how I feel about cold! Give me sunny and 95* any day!!
I got the Wii out and I'm going to give that another shot. Some girls in my Weight Watchers group totally love it so I need to try again. The WW dvd workouts are REALLY strenuous for me...even when I follow the beginner leader! Somehow running 5 miles at a 9:15 pace is SOOOOOO much easier than one of those workout dvds!
If anyone has a favorite dvd for working out, please let me know. I've thought about looking into the Leslie Sansone (sp?) ones...I think my mom has one I could borrow...
I haven't been tracking...maybe some "head" tracking on some days. I find that I mostly go by my weight the night before and whether I need to have a "light, normal, or extra" day. Not very many "extra" days = )
I pretty much just try to eat as many non-starchy veggies as I can without having to force myself to eat them. That usually works out to be about what I'm supposed to eat for the day. I try to make sure I have a couple solid protein servings since I also struggle with getting those in.
I'm so thankful for Progresso soups...perfect for this season and weather! They fill me up for low points...provide good servings of fiber and protein too, for the most part.
If I don't talk to you til after...
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
Back to tracking
Week 67 - 116.0
Week 68 - 116.2
Week 69 - 116.2
Week 70 - 116.2
Week 71 - 116.6
Week 72 - 116.8 (earned another bead for my bracelet!)
Week 73 - 116.2
Week 74 - 117.4
Yes, I blew it on the last week! Oh well...as we talk alot about in our Weight Watchers meetings, I'm "owning" that number. I'm owning why it is what it is. I over-ate. I took in more calories than I burned off.
I'm thankful that the "freaking out" is becoming less and less over time and the common sense, logical approach is growing stronger. I believe the "freak out" reaction is much more likely to lead to blowing it more and more and worse and worse.
If I let myself believe that "I'm losing it!!! I'm gonna gain all the weight back!!!!! I can't do this!!! I'm destined to be fat and unhappy!!!!" (that's what a freak out looks like written down) then a part of me gives up and gives in.
But the common sense, logical part says "yes, that number is higher because you ate out twice on Saturday and twice on Sunday and had 4 pieces of turtle cake in as many days and cookies from your neighbor and cookies from your mom and weren't careful enough when you had the opportunity...but now you're going to be careful and track and do what you know to do and the number will come back down to the good range and you'll keep doing that as long as you live". Ahhh...isn't that so much better?!
And for the record, I didn't start tracking after the "treat weekend" but before...just because I was in the mood to track again. I tracked the extra food...I used up all the activity points I'd earned so far for the week and also dipped into the 49 extra points I'm allowed each week. It was a nice feeling to earn more activity points and add back to the 49. I don't like to use those at all.
Anyhow, that's the nutritional side of things. On the activity side...cooler weather is here... boooo hooooo!! I know, I know...all my runner friends reading this are saying "YAY!" but I'm truly a warm and hot weather runner and I don't like the cold at all...AT ALL.
I can't stand leaving the house and being so cold for the first mile or so til I warm up some. And I don't like getting sweaty and then I turn the corner and the wind blows and then I'm chilled because now I'm wet AND cold.
But I don't like the treadmill either! I have an idea to just walk and not run on the uncomfortably cold days (anything in the 50's and below!) so that I can dress warmer and not get too hot while walking. Thankfully, we have lots of warmer, sunnier days on a regular basis through our winter months and I should be able to still run regularly enough to maintain fitness until the nice heat of summer arrives again = )
If I walk the amount that earns me the same points I would earn for what I would normally run, I'm hoping that it won't matter to my ability to maintain my weight. So I can earn 4 points for a 3 mile run in 30 minutes but to earn 4 points walking, I need to walk over four miles and 68 minutes.
I'm just a little concerned that walking the equal points value won't have the same effect on my calorie-burn as running does even though they look equal on paper. I'll have to try it out and see...
And I'm either going to have to lose another pound or two to compensate for the extra clothes I'll be wearing at weigh-in through the colder months or I'm going to have to be ok with 117's and 118's.
Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds but I'm owning that too!! Keeping that close track of my weight is what works for ME. It may sound lame to the entire rest of the world but it works for me and I'm gonna keep on doing it!
Week 68 - 116.2
Week 69 - 116.2
Week 70 - 116.2
Week 71 - 116.6
Week 72 - 116.8 (earned another bead for my bracelet!)
Week 73 - 116.2
Week 74 - 117.4
Yes, I blew it on the last week! Oh well...as we talk alot about in our Weight Watchers meetings, I'm "owning" that number. I'm owning why it is what it is. I over-ate. I took in more calories than I burned off.
I'm thankful that the "freaking out" is becoming less and less over time and the common sense, logical approach is growing stronger. I believe the "freak out" reaction is much more likely to lead to blowing it more and more and worse and worse.
If I let myself believe that "I'm losing it!!! I'm gonna gain all the weight back!!!!! I can't do this!!! I'm destined to be fat and unhappy!!!!" (that's what a freak out looks like written down) then a part of me gives up and gives in.
But the common sense, logical part says "yes, that number is higher because you ate out twice on Saturday and twice on Sunday and had 4 pieces of turtle cake in as many days and cookies from your neighbor and cookies from your mom and weren't careful enough when you had the opportunity...but now you're going to be careful and track and do what you know to do and the number will come back down to the good range and you'll keep doing that as long as you live". Ahhh...isn't that so much better?!
And for the record, I didn't start tracking after the "treat weekend" but before...just because I was in the mood to track again. I tracked the extra food...I used up all the activity points I'd earned so far for the week and also dipped into the 49 extra points I'm allowed each week. It was a nice feeling to earn more activity points and add back to the 49. I don't like to use those at all.
Anyhow, that's the nutritional side of things. On the activity side...cooler weather is here... boooo hooooo!! I know, I know...all my runner friends reading this are saying "YAY!" but I'm truly a warm and hot weather runner and I don't like the cold at all...AT ALL.
I can't stand leaving the house and being so cold for the first mile or so til I warm up some. And I don't like getting sweaty and then I turn the corner and the wind blows and then I'm chilled because now I'm wet AND cold.
But I don't like the treadmill either! I have an idea to just walk and not run on the uncomfortably cold days (anything in the 50's and below!) so that I can dress warmer and not get too hot while walking. Thankfully, we have lots of warmer, sunnier days on a regular basis through our winter months and I should be able to still run regularly enough to maintain fitness until the nice heat of summer arrives again = )
If I walk the amount that earns me the same points I would earn for what I would normally run, I'm hoping that it won't matter to my ability to maintain my weight. So I can earn 4 points for a 3 mile run in 30 minutes but to earn 4 points walking, I need to walk over four miles and 68 minutes.
I'm just a little concerned that walking the equal points value won't have the same effect on my calorie-burn as running does even though they look equal on paper. I'll have to try it out and see...
And I'm either going to have to lose another pound or two to compensate for the extra clothes I'll be wearing at weigh-in through the colder months or I'm going to have to be ok with 117's and 118's.
Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds but I'm owning that too!! Keeping that close track of my weight is what works for ME. It may sound lame to the entire rest of the world but it works for me and I'm gonna keep on doing it!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Enjoying a break from tracking...
Week #66 - 117.2 - up very late last night (this morning!) so didn't get to run before weigh-in... didn't mind this weight even though it was out of the 116's...actually was pleased with it knowing I didn't run my normal 3-4 miles...encouraging to me
Week #67 - 116.0 - I DID get to run this morning and sweated a TON so I got to drink most of my shake on the way to Weight Watchers and still had a good weight = )
So I haven't tracked in well over a month but I'm maintaining just fine. Before when I didn't track, there was this little voice in my head that said, "go ahead and eat that since you're not going to write it down anyhow" or "enjoy yourself! it's not like it's going down in the permanent record!".
And...my weight would creep up...of course!
This time has been different. It's a different mind-set. Here's what I've been telling myself:
- you'd better be EXTRA careful about the size of your portions since you're not tracking
- you'd better go especially light for the rest of the day since you had ____ and _____ already today
- if your weight starts to creep up, it's back to tracking so you'd better eat a little less than you think you should at times to counteract eating more than you should at other times
- this is a test...enjoy not tracking for as long as your weight remains steady...but you WILL start tracking if your weight creeps up!
- just be ready to track cause this maintaining without tracking may not last...just so ya know!
I'm highly motivated to keep doing this...well, whatever "this" is...I guess all those things I just listed to keep me "on track" without officially tracking. I like not having to track!
I've been tempted to track here and there, not necessarily to keep me on track but just because it's nice to see what I've eaten from day to day...more like a diary or a journal to go with the rest of the events of the day for the memory of it.
And I already know how I'm gonna track if and when I want or need to start tracking again. This is what I'm always telling the girls at Weight Watchers...find an enjoyable way to track... one that fits your personality, likes and dislikes. If you make it fun, somehow, you're more likely to do it.
I've tracked lots of different ways through the years. I've never found just the ONE right, best way to track. I like changing it up and doing different things...that's what's fun for me = ))
Week #67 - 116.0 - I DID get to run this morning and sweated a TON so I got to drink most of my shake on the way to Weight Watchers and still had a good weight = )
So I haven't tracked in well over a month but I'm maintaining just fine. Before when I didn't track, there was this little voice in my head that said, "go ahead and eat that since you're not going to write it down anyhow" or "enjoy yourself! it's not like it's going down in the permanent record!".
And...my weight would creep up...of course!
This time has been different. It's a different mind-set. Here's what I've been telling myself:
- you'd better be EXTRA careful about the size of your portions since you're not tracking
- you'd better go especially light for the rest of the day since you had ____ and _____ already today
- if your weight starts to creep up, it's back to tracking so you'd better eat a little less than you think you should at times to counteract eating more than you should at other times
- this is a test...enjoy not tracking for as long as your weight remains steady...but you WILL start tracking if your weight creeps up!
- just be ready to track cause this maintaining without tracking may not last...just so ya know!
I'm highly motivated to keep doing this...well, whatever "this" is...I guess all those things I just listed to keep me "on track" without officially tracking. I like not having to track!
I've been tempted to track here and there, not necessarily to keep me on track but just because it's nice to see what I've eaten from day to day...more like a diary or a journal to go with the rest of the events of the day for the memory of it.
And I already know how I'm gonna track if and when I want or need to start tracking again. This is what I'm always telling the girls at Weight Watchers...find an enjoyable way to track... one that fits your personality, likes and dislikes. If you make it fun, somehow, you're more likely to do it.
I've tracked lots of different ways through the years. I've never found just the ONE right, best way to track. I like changing it up and doing different things...that's what's fun for me = ))
Friday, September 6, 2013
Fell off the wagon...
...not THAT wagon!! And not the weight wagon either! The blogging wagon = ) I guess if you're going to fall off a wagon, that's just about the best one to pick...
Here's some catch up...pretty boring stuff...and that's an AWESOME thing!!
8/1 - Week #60 - 116.6
8/8 - Week #61 - 116.2
8/15 - Week #62 - 117.0
8/22 - Week #63 - 116.2
8/29 - Week #64 - 116.6
9/5 - Week #65 - 117.0
As you might be able to tell, I'm most happy with a weight in the 116's. If it's below that, I risk getting lectured by the weigh-in ladies. If it's 117 or above, I feel badly the rest of the day. I always weigh myself right before I leave the house and usually drink some or all of my shake on the way to boost my weight up.
Like yesterday, I weighed 115.6 after getting dressed and putting my shoes on. I'd already had part of my shake after my run so figured I could finish the rest of it and still be in the 116's. I have no idea how it made me gain 1.4 pounds though!
And even though I know I didn't REALLY weigh 117, I still feel really bad...really...that that's written in my permanent weight record.
And I know...I KNOW...117 is a perfectly acceptable and fine weight for someone my height, frame and age. It's really not 116-117 either...it's 112-113, clean weight. My head KNOWS this when I step on the scale at Weight Watchers...so why does it bother me so?? Because the weigh-in ladies will think I'm fat???
Aaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!! I can't explain it...it just really matters to me. I wish it didn't because I think it shows that I'm lacking in sense and/or logic. Oh well...we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses and this is one of my more prominent weaknesses, I guess!
I need to call Weight Watchers headquarters and change my height that's on record with them. I always thought I was 5'4"...and maybe I was and have shrunk some as I've gotten older...but I got measured at the doctor's office a couple months ago and I'm definitely 5'3".
That means my lowest allowable weight goes from 117 to 113. So I could weigh in the 115's and even 114's and the ladies wouldn't lecture = ) I'm gonna go write that down on my to-do list for tomorrow...call Weight Watchers and change my height!
Anyhow, I've been wanting to share this link with ya'll...it's more information on what I've been talking about over the last couple of blog posts.
Is Being Really Lean Really Worth It?
One thing I really liked about the article is how she talks about finding your happy spot. We all are juggling these different areas of reaching and maintaining a healthy weight:
- nutrition...how much, of what, more of this, less of that
- activity/exercise - how much, of what, see above = )
- genetics - more muscular? big muscle, lean muscle? more curvy? more beanpole?
- level of stress - too little sleep? high-stress job? sickness? etc.
Just like I mentioned previously...I know I could weigh less than I do right now and have more muscle and less fat. I know that I would run faster, feel better (physically, mentally, emotionally), look better (my opinion!).
I also know what changes would be required in my diet and exercise. And I know how my genetic make-up is trying to get me to look. I've decided that the sacrifices in my nutrition and time are not worth weighing 5-8 pounds less.
So I've decided that 112-113 is my happy spot...mostly...seriously, it NEEDS to be my happy spot...
- My nutrition is good...cutting out any more "fun" foods would be WAY less fun.
- And my Nike+ app tells me that I spent 33 hours running last month...140 miles! I don't feel right taking time away from something else to add to the running time-budget.
- I already am WELL aware of my genetics and how my genes are working hard to get me to look...that makes this tough work!
- from the outside looking in, my life would appear to be stress-free. Soooo not true... but I won't get into that right now...
I keep going back to my original goal...it was NOT to weigh 105 and have 15% body fat and run sub-8:00 miles again...but that would be AWESOME...nooooo, don't go there Pony!!
My goal was and is to maintain a weight that is healthy and maintainable long-term with no great fluctuations (20+ pounds) through the seasons. I must force myself to focus on that.
Ok, I really do think I've said all I can say about that!! I know, I know...I said that the last time! hahahahahaha
We'll see = )
Here's some catch up...pretty boring stuff...and that's an AWESOME thing!!
8/1 - Week #60 - 116.6
8/8 - Week #61 - 116.2
8/15 - Week #62 - 117.0
8/22 - Week #63 - 116.2
8/29 - Week #64 - 116.6
9/5 - Week #65 - 117.0
As you might be able to tell, I'm most happy with a weight in the 116's. If it's below that, I risk getting lectured by the weigh-in ladies. If it's 117 or above, I feel badly the rest of the day. I always weigh myself right before I leave the house and usually drink some or all of my shake on the way to boost my weight up.
Like yesterday, I weighed 115.6 after getting dressed and putting my shoes on. I'd already had part of my shake after my run so figured I could finish the rest of it and still be in the 116's. I have no idea how it made me gain 1.4 pounds though!
And even though I know I didn't REALLY weigh 117, I still feel really bad...really...that that's written in my permanent weight record.
And I know...I KNOW...117 is a perfectly acceptable and fine weight for someone my height, frame and age. It's really not 116-117 either...it's 112-113, clean weight. My head KNOWS this when I step on the scale at Weight Watchers...so why does it bother me so?? Because the weigh-in ladies will think I'm fat???
Aaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!! I can't explain it...it just really matters to me. I wish it didn't because I think it shows that I'm lacking in sense and/or logic. Oh well...we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses and this is one of my more prominent weaknesses, I guess!
I need to call Weight Watchers headquarters and change my height that's on record with them. I always thought I was 5'4"...and maybe I was and have shrunk some as I've gotten older...but I got measured at the doctor's office a couple months ago and I'm definitely 5'3".
That means my lowest allowable weight goes from 117 to 113. So I could weigh in the 115's and even 114's and the ladies wouldn't lecture = ) I'm gonna go write that down on my to-do list for tomorrow...call Weight Watchers and change my height!
Anyhow, I've been wanting to share this link with ya'll...it's more information on what I've been talking about over the last couple of blog posts.
Is Being Really Lean Really Worth It?
One thing I really liked about the article is how she talks about finding your happy spot. We all are juggling these different areas of reaching and maintaining a healthy weight:
- nutrition...how much, of what, more of this, less of that
- activity/exercise - how much, of what, see above = )
- genetics - more muscular? big muscle, lean muscle? more curvy? more beanpole?
- level of stress - too little sleep? high-stress job? sickness? etc.
Just like I mentioned previously...I know I could weigh less than I do right now and have more muscle and less fat. I know that I would run faster, feel better (physically, mentally, emotionally), look better (my opinion!).
I also know what changes would be required in my diet and exercise. And I know how my genetic make-up is trying to get me to look. I've decided that the sacrifices in my nutrition and time are not worth weighing 5-8 pounds less.
So I've decided that 112-113 is my happy spot...mostly...seriously, it NEEDS to be my happy spot...
- My nutrition is good...cutting out any more "fun" foods would be WAY less fun.
- And my Nike+ app tells me that I spent 33 hours running last month...140 miles! I don't feel right taking time away from something else to add to the running time-budget.
- I already am WELL aware of my genetics and how my genes are working hard to get me to look...that makes this tough work!
- from the outside looking in, my life would appear to be stress-free. Soooo not true... but I won't get into that right now...
I keep going back to my original goal...it was NOT to weigh 105 and have 15% body fat and run sub-8:00 miles again...but that would be AWESOME...nooooo, don't go there Pony!!
My goal was and is to maintain a weight that is healthy and maintainable long-term with no great fluctuations (20+ pounds) through the seasons. I must force myself to focus on that.
Ok, I really do think I've said all I can say about that!! I know, I know...I said that the last time! hahahahahaha
We'll see = )
Friday, July 26, 2013
Alot of thinking...
Week #59 - 116.0 - clothed, shoe'd and after drinking half of my shake!
I like that weight = ) I liked the 112.6 on the scale at home, my clean weight, even better!
One more week and I earn another bead for my Pandora bracelet! Then 6 more weeks after that and I can actually order the beads for weeks 54, 60 and 66. I'm concentrating on just the colored glass beads now since the two I got are SOOOOOO pretty. I want a whole rainbow!
Putting this on pause while I go pick up Buddy from the vet...he was getting his teefers cweaned = )
Back again...glad to have my Buddy home safe and sound! He's going on 12 and 1/2 so he can't have general anesthesia anymore to get his teeth cleaned. They used a mild sedation and I'm going to do EVERYTHING in my power to keep his teeth clean!
Anyhow...ever since last week's post, I've been thinking alot about what I wrote. I feel badly that perhaps it came across as harsh or judgmental or callous. So I've been meditating on: #1 - do I really believe what I wrote? and #2 - why do I feel so strongly about it?
I've also been wishing I was better with words...I always feel like I don't do a good job getting my point across or maybe I get my point across but not with the compassion and understanding that I feel when I write it.
So, yes to #1 and here's my answer to #2:
A girl in my Weight Watchers group has given me permission to use her as an example of the point I'm trying to make. Tiffany is amazing...she has approached her weight-loss journey with the most logic and common sense that I've witnessed from anyone.
Tiffany speaks alot about "owning" her number...the number on the scale or the size of her clothes, whatever it might be. She has already lost over 80 pounds and is still planning on losing at least another 50 more.
Whatever the scale says each week when she weighs in, that's HER number. It's reflective of her great, good, ok or bad choices in the previous week...but it's HER number. She's not trying to get everyone to say she's at a healthy weight and accept her as such. She knows she still has more pounds to lose to be at a healthy weight...but she also knows, and we all know too!, that she most definitely is at a HEALTHIER weight than when she started her journey.
After thinking about the issue all week, I think this is what it boils down to for me:
- there most definitely is a weight range or body fat percentage range that everyone... nutritionists, doctors, lay people...would consider a healthy weight or a healthy body fat. And, conversely, there would be a weight/height ratio along with body fat/muscle mass ratio that in general would be considered unhealthy, no matter what kind of activity you could manage to complete.
- there seems to be a push to accept ALL sizes and types and fat percentages as HEALTHY just because they completed a 5k or 10k or half marathon or even marathon. "Hey, I did a marathon, that must mean I'm healthy and I can keep doing what I'm doing! Let's go celebrate with donuts!!"
I'm not talking about those people who are HEALTHIER...who were even more overweight and are on the journey to truly be in a healthy weight range...and using running and racing to help them get there. My admiration knows no bounds for those people!!
It just eats me up inside to see these 250 to 300 pounds and higher women walking a 9 hour marathon or a 5 hour half marathon and then stuffing, STUFFING themselves all through the race and afterwards (I've seen it with my own eyes!) but feel that they're doing a great thing for their bodies and they don't need to change a thing. And they're getting support from each other and DEMANDING support and acceptance from the running community and everyone else.
I don't want to participate in any way in helping them to feel happy and comfortable believing themselves to be at a healthy weight...they're NOT. Now if they know they're not...YET... but are working towards that, then great...I will be their biggest cheerleader!! I love to see larger folk out there on the roads...it's so encouraging to me! I used to BE one of those larger folk and I enjoyed running greatly.
But I knew I wasn't healthy just because I ran and worked out. I KNEW I was overweight and not at a healthy weight and my body fat was too high and I wasn't fooling myself into believing that just because I ran 5 miles, I could eat whatever I wanted and however much of it I wanted for the rest of the day. I owned my numbers.
And I don't want to help someone else feel good about being overweight and unhealthy. How caring is that? It's not! It's encouraging someone to continue to harm their body but feel good about it....I refuse to do that.
So...now maybe I can have some peace about this. It does serve as an excellent reminder to myself...I must guard SO CAREFULLY my tendency to gain weight. It happens SO easily and SO quickly and that's SO discouraging!
But I'm determined, and here's why...I read this the other day and I LOVE IT!!
"My God is a great God and He deserves a great temple!" That's my body!! I want my body to reflect His glory...to be a great temple!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
I also want my mind to glorify God...and my emotions...and my actions...with every breath God gives me. I strive, I struggle, I do fail, I strive again!
And that's all I have to say about that = )
I like that weight = ) I liked the 112.6 on the scale at home, my clean weight, even better!
One more week and I earn another bead for my Pandora bracelet! Then 6 more weeks after that and I can actually order the beads for weeks 54, 60 and 66. I'm concentrating on just the colored glass beads now since the two I got are SOOOOOO pretty. I want a whole rainbow!
Putting this on pause while I go pick up Buddy from the vet...he was getting his teefers cweaned = )
Back again...glad to have my Buddy home safe and sound! He's going on 12 and 1/2 so he can't have general anesthesia anymore to get his teeth cleaned. They used a mild sedation and I'm going to do EVERYTHING in my power to keep his teeth clean!
Anyhow...ever since last week's post, I've been thinking alot about what I wrote. I feel badly that perhaps it came across as harsh or judgmental or callous. So I've been meditating on: #1 - do I really believe what I wrote? and #2 - why do I feel so strongly about it?
I've also been wishing I was better with words...I always feel like I don't do a good job getting my point across or maybe I get my point across but not with the compassion and understanding that I feel when I write it.
So, yes to #1 and here's my answer to #2:
A girl in my Weight Watchers group has given me permission to use her as an example of the point I'm trying to make. Tiffany is amazing...she has approached her weight-loss journey with the most logic and common sense that I've witnessed from anyone.
Tiffany speaks alot about "owning" her number...the number on the scale or the size of her clothes, whatever it might be. She has already lost over 80 pounds and is still planning on losing at least another 50 more.
Whatever the scale says each week when she weighs in, that's HER number. It's reflective of her great, good, ok or bad choices in the previous week...but it's HER number. She's not trying to get everyone to say she's at a healthy weight and accept her as such. She knows she still has more pounds to lose to be at a healthy weight...but she also knows, and we all know too!, that she most definitely is at a HEALTHIER weight than when she started her journey.
After thinking about the issue all week, I think this is what it boils down to for me:
- there most definitely is a weight range or body fat percentage range that everyone... nutritionists, doctors, lay people...would consider a healthy weight or a healthy body fat. And, conversely, there would be a weight/height ratio along with body fat/muscle mass ratio that in general would be considered unhealthy, no matter what kind of activity you could manage to complete.
- there seems to be a push to accept ALL sizes and types and fat percentages as HEALTHY just because they completed a 5k or 10k or half marathon or even marathon. "Hey, I did a marathon, that must mean I'm healthy and I can keep doing what I'm doing! Let's go celebrate with donuts!!"
I'm not talking about those people who are HEALTHIER...who were even more overweight and are on the journey to truly be in a healthy weight range...and using running and racing to help them get there. My admiration knows no bounds for those people!!
It just eats me up inside to see these 250 to 300 pounds and higher women walking a 9 hour marathon or a 5 hour half marathon and then stuffing, STUFFING themselves all through the race and afterwards (I've seen it with my own eyes!) but feel that they're doing a great thing for their bodies and they don't need to change a thing. And they're getting support from each other and DEMANDING support and acceptance from the running community and everyone else.
I don't want to participate in any way in helping them to feel happy and comfortable believing themselves to be at a healthy weight...they're NOT. Now if they know they're not...YET... but are working towards that, then great...I will be their biggest cheerleader!! I love to see larger folk out there on the roads...it's so encouraging to me! I used to BE one of those larger folk and I enjoyed running greatly.
But I knew I wasn't healthy just because I ran and worked out. I KNEW I was overweight and not at a healthy weight and my body fat was too high and I wasn't fooling myself into believing that just because I ran 5 miles, I could eat whatever I wanted and however much of it I wanted for the rest of the day. I owned my numbers.
And I don't want to help someone else feel good about being overweight and unhealthy. How caring is that? It's not! It's encouraging someone to continue to harm their body but feel good about it....I refuse to do that.
So...now maybe I can have some peace about this. It does serve as an excellent reminder to myself...I must guard SO CAREFULLY my tendency to gain weight. It happens SO easily and SO quickly and that's SO discouraging!
But I'm determined, and here's why...I read this the other day and I LOVE IT!!
"My God is a great God and He deserves a great temple!" That's my body!! I want my body to reflect His glory...to be a great temple!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
I also want my mind to glorify God...and my emotions...and my actions...with every breath God gives me. I strive, I struggle, I do fail, I strive again!
And that's all I have to say about that = )
Friday, July 19, 2013
Weight Watchers' Good Health Guidelines
Week #58 - 117.0
Our Weight Watchers leader-extraordinaire, Kim, has recently been teaching us about the domino effect...how one small bad choice leads to another and then another and another until our whole day of trying to eat healthy and stay within our points is shot.
But the converse is true also...one small good choice leads to another and another until we've made it through the entire day eating well and staying within our points. String enough of those days together and you get a week where you've lost weight/maintained, whatever your goal is.
I already knew that, for me, starting my day with a run or walk is a GREAT way to get going on another day of healthy eating and living and maintaining my desired weight. And I almost always do this, 6 days a week...thank You, God, for the ability and opportunity!!!
Kim's first "good-domino" of the day is to eat her Good Health Guidelines: these are the things Weight Watchers nutritionists have determined are the minimum required to feed our bodies the nutrition they need for optimum health. Weight Watchers point system is based on this...it's all very fascinating!
Anyhow, here they are, in case you're interested:
- 2 to 3 servings of dairy
- minimum of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables up to 8 servings...with fruit servings equal to or under vegetable servings
- 1 to 2 servings of lean protein
- 6 to 8 glasses of WATER a day
- whole grains...it doesn't give us a recommended number of servings
- 2 teaspoons of healthy oils
- activity...not going back and forth from the tv to the kitchen...some kind of working-out = )
So she told us that if she's craving a treat food, she'll make sure she's checked off all of her Good Health Guidelines (GHG) before she eats her treat. I've started making that be a focus for my days and it's AMAZING what a difference it makes!
Kim's been talking to us about the GHGs for over a year but for some reason, it just now clicked for me. I really do love how Weight Watchers is so focused on good health and helping us to be a good healthy weight!
Another little insight I became aware of after my weigh-in this week: I can see an aspect in myself that I imagine is present in people who suffer from anorexia: I feel like a failure if I don't see a lower number on the scale every time I weigh in. Not so much at home because I'm used to my weight fluctuating on my nightly weigh-ins. In fact, if my weight is up but my body fat percentage is down, that actually makes me happy!
But for the weigh-ins at the Weight Watchers meetings, somehow I feel like a failure if my weight is higher than last week's...even though last week's was lower than it should have been (remember the mega-sweating episode after my run?!). I feel like I'm letting myself down, letting down the person who is weighing me, and letting down all my WW-buds who are cheering me on to keep maintaining.
Now my logical head knows that there's NO WAY I can keep weighing less and less and less each time I weigh in. I can't keep losing until I die! But my heart feels sad when I don't weigh less and less and less...does that make sense to anyone?
I so enjoyed my minimum body fat - maximum muscle days...I loved the way I felt, the way I looked, the way I ran, the energy and strength I had. I guess I've conveniently forgot about sticking to that strict way of eating with very little room for "treats"...hahaha
Anyhow, I guess because I feel like that is my optimal healthy body, this body right now feels fat...or at least pudgy = ( And maybe that's why I so enjoy seeing lower and lower numbers on the scale and a higher number upsets me...because I know lower and lower numbers leads to feeling the way I felt when I weighed 98-100 pounds.
But I know I'm not going to strive to return to that weight. I think my WW leader would have something to say about that! hahahaha
And I can hear voices out there saying, "the number on the scale doesn't matter! it's whether you are healthy or not!". I don't disagree...but I don't agree either. I do think a number on a scale CAN give you useful information and is a good indicator to track in trying to live a healthy life.
I had a friend call me this week to get information about healthy weights for small, medium and large framed women...generally speaking. In talking with her, I did point out that it's possible to weigh more than some "chart" says and still be very healthy...loads of muscle mass, for one thing! But if our wiggly-jiggly belly is distracting us while we work out, I'm here to say we're carrying excess fat on our body and we're not what I consider a healthy weight!
I've also seen women who were so proud of themselves for being able to lift a certain weight or run (slowly) a certain distance and were promoting themselves as healthy and at a healthy weight when they were really a good 50 pounds overweight.... fat pounds...the wiggly-jiggly kind, not total pounds.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we should use ALL the tools in our healthy-weight toolbox: the scale, the mirror, a food journal, body fat calibrations, a favorite pair of jeans, the time on the stopwatch, activity trackers, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, etc., books, magazines, whatever motivates us to GET HEALTHY and STAY HEALTHY!
That's what I'm aiming to do for the rest of the life God gives me = )
Our Weight Watchers leader-extraordinaire, Kim, has recently been teaching us about the domino effect...how one small bad choice leads to another and then another and another until our whole day of trying to eat healthy and stay within our points is shot.
But the converse is true also...one small good choice leads to another and another until we've made it through the entire day eating well and staying within our points. String enough of those days together and you get a week where you've lost weight/maintained, whatever your goal is.
I already knew that, for me, starting my day with a run or walk is a GREAT way to get going on another day of healthy eating and living and maintaining my desired weight. And I almost always do this, 6 days a week...thank You, God, for the ability and opportunity!!!
Kim's first "good-domino" of the day is to eat her Good Health Guidelines: these are the things Weight Watchers nutritionists have determined are the minimum required to feed our bodies the nutrition they need for optimum health. Weight Watchers point system is based on this...it's all very fascinating!
Anyhow, here they are, in case you're interested:
- 2 to 3 servings of dairy
- minimum of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables up to 8 servings...with fruit servings equal to or under vegetable servings
- 1 to 2 servings of lean protein
- 6 to 8 glasses of WATER a day
- whole grains...it doesn't give us a recommended number of servings
- 2 teaspoons of healthy oils
- activity...not going back and forth from the tv to the kitchen...some kind of working-out = )
So she told us that if she's craving a treat food, she'll make sure she's checked off all of her Good Health Guidelines (GHG) before she eats her treat. I've started making that be a focus for my days and it's AMAZING what a difference it makes!
Kim's been talking to us about the GHGs for over a year but for some reason, it just now clicked for me. I really do love how Weight Watchers is so focused on good health and helping us to be a good healthy weight!
Another little insight I became aware of after my weigh-in this week: I can see an aspect in myself that I imagine is present in people who suffer from anorexia: I feel like a failure if I don't see a lower number on the scale every time I weigh in. Not so much at home because I'm used to my weight fluctuating on my nightly weigh-ins. In fact, if my weight is up but my body fat percentage is down, that actually makes me happy!
But for the weigh-ins at the Weight Watchers meetings, somehow I feel like a failure if my weight is higher than last week's...even though last week's was lower than it should have been (remember the mega-sweating episode after my run?!). I feel like I'm letting myself down, letting down the person who is weighing me, and letting down all my WW-buds who are cheering me on to keep maintaining.
Now my logical head knows that there's NO WAY I can keep weighing less and less and less each time I weigh in. I can't keep losing until I die! But my heart feels sad when I don't weigh less and less and less...does that make sense to anyone?
I so enjoyed my minimum body fat - maximum muscle days...I loved the way I felt, the way I looked, the way I ran, the energy and strength I had. I guess I've conveniently forgot about sticking to that strict way of eating with very little room for "treats"...hahaha
Anyhow, I guess because I feel like that is my optimal healthy body, this body right now feels fat...or at least pudgy = ( And maybe that's why I so enjoy seeing lower and lower numbers on the scale and a higher number upsets me...because I know lower and lower numbers leads to feeling the way I felt when I weighed 98-100 pounds.
But I know I'm not going to strive to return to that weight. I think my WW leader would have something to say about that! hahahaha
And I can hear voices out there saying, "the number on the scale doesn't matter! it's whether you are healthy or not!". I don't disagree...but I don't agree either. I do think a number on a scale CAN give you useful information and is a good indicator to track in trying to live a healthy life.
I had a friend call me this week to get information about healthy weights for small, medium and large framed women...generally speaking. In talking with her, I did point out that it's possible to weigh more than some "chart" says and still be very healthy...loads of muscle mass, for one thing! But if our wiggly-jiggly belly is distracting us while we work out, I'm here to say we're carrying excess fat on our body and we're not what I consider a healthy weight!
I've also seen women who were so proud of themselves for being able to lift a certain weight or run (slowly) a certain distance and were promoting themselves as healthy and at a healthy weight when they were really a good 50 pounds overweight.... fat pounds...the wiggly-jiggly kind, not total pounds.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we should use ALL the tools in our healthy-weight toolbox: the scale, the mirror, a food journal, body fat calibrations, a favorite pair of jeans, the time on the stopwatch, activity trackers, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, etc., books, magazines, whatever motivates us to GET HEALTHY and STAY HEALTHY!
That's what I'm aiming to do for the rest of the life God gives me = )
Friday, July 12, 2013
I think about writing here all the time...
...but there are so many other things that take priority...some I'm good with... like reading my Bible...a time I look forward to every day!...and walking with Piper and Buddy and throwing the frisbee for Dingo.
Some I'd rather be blogging...like folding clothes and putting them away...and setting the sprinkler out to run...every evening now that it's hot and we're not getting enough rain!
I think of lots of things that would be fun to blog about so I write the blog in my head during the day and plan to write it out here but it usually never happens = )
Anyhow...here's the catch-up...weights at the meeting, with clothes and shoes:
Week 54 - 116.8
Week 55 - 116.6
Week 56 - 118.6
Week 57 - 116.2
Not exactly sure what happened in week 56 but I knew I hadn't over-eaten so I wasn't freaked out by the number on the scale at the Weight Watchers meeting.
And yesterday, I got overheated in the last mile of my 4 mile run. I took walk breaks but felt sick when I got home. I kept feeling sick and then all of a sudden, I started POURING sweat. I had been sweating normally, which was ALOT, but then I started sweating PROFUSELY. Seriously, no other way to describe it!
It was streaming down me and great big drops falling from my face and shoulders, down my legs...but my sick feeling went away right after that! I was praising God for creating a body that knows how to cool itself off...what a blessing that is! And a reminder of how serious it is for a person when they stop sweating = (
So I think maybe that's why my weight was lower than normal. 117 is supposed to be my absolute minimum weight for weigh-in but they've stopped saying anything to me when I'm below that. I guess they realize that I'm healthy and my weight is staying steady.
I've switched back to digital tracking on my eTools. I discovered a few more features of the Weight Watchers app that makes it less frustrating to track that way. Plus, you knew I couldn't resist the digital stickers, right?? So far so good!
In other news...my nephews closed on my sister's house at the end of June so there's another ending to this chapter. And there's only one box left here of things they need to decide on and that job is finished also.
I put together a keepsake box of Jan's most precious treasures and we'll be storing that here, saving it for when the grandbabies start arriving, Lord-willing! Oh yeah...my nephew, John Chase, got engaged = )
We're also saving some childhood books for the grandkids and, of course, the pictures, albums and scrapbooks.
Next Wednesday will be 6 months that Jan's been gone...1/2 a year already. Amazing all the events that happen within 6 months. Life is precious, be thankful for every single day God gives you. I know I am!
The other day I was strongly convicted of all the days I spent in the past wishing I was dead and planning how to be dead. How wrong I was = ((
Every day is a gift from God, every breath I take is not to be taken for granted. Each day holds opportunities to learn, to love, to serve, to give, to enjoy.
Yes, there will be heartaches and pain...and on a regular basis. Those are all under God's control also...that as we walk through them we have the opportunity to LIVE and glorify Him. This is my heart's cry every morning as I take my first waking breath..."thank You, God, for this new day...please help me to live for You and glorify You in all I do and say".
Some I'd rather be blogging...like folding clothes and putting them away...and setting the sprinkler out to run...every evening now that it's hot and we're not getting enough rain!
I think of lots of things that would be fun to blog about so I write the blog in my head during the day and plan to write it out here but it usually never happens = )
Anyhow...here's the catch-up...weights at the meeting, with clothes and shoes:
Week 54 - 116.8
Week 55 - 116.6
Week 56 - 118.6
Week 57 - 116.2
Not exactly sure what happened in week 56 but I knew I hadn't over-eaten so I wasn't freaked out by the number on the scale at the Weight Watchers meeting.
And yesterday, I got overheated in the last mile of my 4 mile run. I took walk breaks but felt sick when I got home. I kept feeling sick and then all of a sudden, I started POURING sweat. I had been sweating normally, which was ALOT, but then I started sweating PROFUSELY. Seriously, no other way to describe it!
It was streaming down me and great big drops falling from my face and shoulders, down my legs...but my sick feeling went away right after that! I was praising God for creating a body that knows how to cool itself off...what a blessing that is! And a reminder of how serious it is for a person when they stop sweating = (
So I think maybe that's why my weight was lower than normal. 117 is supposed to be my absolute minimum weight for weigh-in but they've stopped saying anything to me when I'm below that. I guess they realize that I'm healthy and my weight is staying steady.
I've switched back to digital tracking on my eTools. I discovered a few more features of the Weight Watchers app that makes it less frustrating to track that way. Plus, you knew I couldn't resist the digital stickers, right?? So far so good!
In other news...my nephews closed on my sister's house at the end of June so there's another ending to this chapter. And there's only one box left here of things they need to decide on and that job is finished also.
I put together a keepsake box of Jan's most precious treasures and we'll be storing that here, saving it for when the grandbabies start arriving, Lord-willing! Oh yeah...my nephew, John Chase, got engaged = )
We're also saving some childhood books for the grandkids and, of course, the pictures, albums and scrapbooks.
Next Wednesday will be 6 months that Jan's been gone...1/2 a year already. Amazing all the events that happen within 6 months. Life is precious, be thankful for every single day God gives you. I know I am!
The other day I was strongly convicted of all the days I spent in the past wishing I was dead and planning how to be dead. How wrong I was = ((
Every day is a gift from God, every breath I take is not to be taken for granted. Each day holds opportunities to learn, to love, to serve, to give, to enjoy.
Yes, there will be heartaches and pain...and on a regular basis. Those are all under God's control also...that as we walk through them we have the opportunity to LIVE and glorify Him. This is my heart's cry every morning as I take my first waking breath..."thank You, God, for this new day...please help me to live for You and glorify You in all I do and say".
Monday, June 17, 2013
5 months today...
Week #53 - 117.0
Good week...still struggling to paper track every day...I know I do better when I track and I WANT to track. There are drawbacks to each kind of tracking...whether I do paper or eTools on my phone.
It seems like paper tracking is a better fit for now. Except I just discovered that eTools gives you rewards for how much you track so now there's an added incentive to digital track... you know me...stickers! DIGITAL STICKERS!!
So...on a more somber note...5 months ago today my sister passed away. I still sometimes look for her car as I'm walking on Clay Road at rush hour. I imagine there will always be times when I forget she's gone and then suddenly remember...and then feel grief all over again.
I think it would've been different if she'd lived to a ripe-old age...lived a full life. I was thinking today that I'm almost to my 47 and 1/2 year birthday...the next one is 48. I like even years better = )
And then I remembered that Jan was just one month past her 49th birthday...and how quickly that might come for me, if the Lord wills it. So young...SO SO young...
Good week...still struggling to paper track every day...I know I do better when I track and I WANT to track. There are drawbacks to each kind of tracking...whether I do paper or eTools on my phone.
It seems like paper tracking is a better fit for now. Except I just discovered that eTools gives you rewards for how much you track so now there's an added incentive to digital track... you know me...stickers! DIGITAL STICKERS!!
So...on a more somber note...5 months ago today my sister passed away. I still sometimes look for her car as I'm walking on Clay Road at rush hour. I imagine there will always be times when I forget she's gone and then suddenly remember...and then feel grief all over again.
I think it would've been different if she'd lived to a ripe-old age...lived a full life. I was thinking today that I'm almost to my 47 and 1/2 year birthday...the next one is 48. I like even years better = )
And then I remembered that Jan was just one month past her 49th birthday...and how quickly that might come for me, if the Lord wills it. So young...SO SO young...
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Well, it's about TIME!!!!
Hello my friends...knock knock...anyone still there???
Wow, I fell WAAAAAAAAAAY off the blogging wagon! Things just got busier and busier with cleaning out my sister's house and then doing remodeling there in preparation of putting the house on the market.
We were also trying to redo our front flower beds here and I just now this past week got a few tomato plants in the veggie garden! Thankfully, we got the shadecloth installed over the entire garden and that buys me some time in getting things in the ground. It cools the garden by about 10*...so pleasant to work out there on a hot day.
I'm hoping to see a big difference in how the veggies grow and maybe they won't stop producing for July and August when it's just too hot to think = )
So anyhow, back to blogging....then I was so late, I decided to wait until a "milestone" day...which was this past Thursday.
ONE YEAR OF MAINTAINING!!!
I'll get you up to date on the weigh-ins since my last post:
- 3/21 117.4
- 3/28 117.8
- 4/4 119.4
- 4/11 119.2
- 4/18 118.2
- 4/25 118.4
- 5/2 117.2
- 5/9 117.4
- 5/16 117.6
- 5/23 117.6
- 5/30 117.8
- 6/6 117.2
As you can see, I had a couple weeks where I wasn't tracking and I wasn't sticking to the program like I should. But thankfully, due to all that I've learned over the past year, it did not lead to an on-going upward rise in weight gain...like it would in the past!
My morning clean weights have been in the 113-116 range...mostly 113-115, just a couple at 116. Even though I'd really rather be under the "teens", I realize that this is kind of a set-point for my body...a mostly easily maintainable weight...as long as I do what I'm supposed to be doing to eat healthily.
The weight creeps up when I don't...each and every time...WITHOUT FAIL. But I know it also creeps back down once I DO eat in a healthful manner...that's a really nice thing to know!
So I eat like an 80/20% thing...I can eat healthy most of the time but still have snacks and treats here and there each week. Trying to weigh less and maintain that weight would mean more of a 90/10 or even 95/5 thing. So I'm good with 113-115 = )
I took flowers to my leader, Kim, and also to the ladies who do our weigh-ins...the secretaries. They are always so encouraging and helpful and I wanted to recognize and thank them for their part in my one year maintaining milestone! Now on to the next year!
Oh yeah...I got another charm for my keychain!! And I should post a pic of my Pandora bracelet now...it's getting quite full!
In other news, Petey has been in Denver for upgrade training for the past 3 weeks...just 2 more weeks to go! He's learning how to fly the 747-400...upgrading from the 747 Classic, as they call it.
He's doing wonderfully well...I figured he would because he'd been studying and preparing so diligently even before he left for school. I was always so proud of him when I would walk by the office and see him studying. I love his work ethic!!!!
But things can turn out to be more difficult than they first appear so there was a bit of questioning and hesitation on my part. Turns out he's blown his instructor away at how prepared he is and how advanced he already was before he got there...that's my Sweety!
While he's been gone I've been doing LOTS of scrapbooking, just like I'd been looking forward to! The dining room table hasn't been cleaned off since he left = )
With the new Simple Stories scrapbook system I was able to scrapbook and journal all of 2012 in less than 2 weeks. And that's with keeping up with the yard work, house work, helping others-work, critter care and other stuff that goes on around here! But no TV... hahahaha
I've also been TOTALLY enjoying my Quiet Time every day...several times a day, actually. I have a couple Bibles that I really love and I can't wait until it's time to sit down and read, study and meditate. I first read in my Life Principles study Bible and then I'll read the study notes on that same passage in a couple other Bibles.
At other times during the day I'll read a devotional or play the piano...always ALWAYS some hymn comes to mind during my Bible study so I've been playing those after I get done reading.
The Bible book store, Mardel's, is right around the corner from the scrapbook store, Archiver's, so I've gotten some goodies from both places lately. Including some wonderful song books from Mardel's. I surely do LUUUUUUUUUUV the old hymns and gospel songs!
I've been doing more run/walking than just straight running lately but that happens more once it gets over 90*. Also, I REALLY like having Piper with me and the old boy is slowing down and I need to be more careful. I'm willing to give up running and do run/walking for his sake...even just straight walking when it comes to that!
I've also been helping a friend's son get into running. He really started running before I got involved but I've been able to run with him several times and give him pointers and advice. He's one of those kids (14 years old) that's good at EVERYTHING...he's in the gifted and talented classes at school, he's an amazing musician and, I would have NEVER guessed, he's also a talented athlete!
But I've still been going out twice a day on most days...morning and sunset. I take Piper either/or depending on how late I get up. If it's late and hot already, I'll go by myself and take him at sunset. If I'm scheduled to run with Sean that evening, I'll do a shorter walk with Piper in the morning.
Well, I think that about catches you up! Of the important stuff anyhow. I could tell you about my disappointing 5k a month ago but I'll save that for another time...gonna go have some popcorn = )
Wow, I fell WAAAAAAAAAAY off the blogging wagon! Things just got busier and busier with cleaning out my sister's house and then doing remodeling there in preparation of putting the house on the market.
We were also trying to redo our front flower beds here and I just now this past week got a few tomato plants in the veggie garden! Thankfully, we got the shadecloth installed over the entire garden and that buys me some time in getting things in the ground. It cools the garden by about 10*...so pleasant to work out there on a hot day.
I'm hoping to see a big difference in how the veggies grow and maybe they won't stop producing for July and August when it's just too hot to think = )
So anyhow, back to blogging....then I was so late, I decided to wait until a "milestone" day...which was this past Thursday.
ONE YEAR OF MAINTAINING!!!
I'll get you up to date on the weigh-ins since my last post:
- 3/21 117.4
- 3/28 117.8
- 4/4 119.4
- 4/11 119.2
- 4/18 118.2
- 4/25 118.4
- 5/2 117.2
- 5/9 117.4
- 5/16 117.6
- 5/23 117.6
- 5/30 117.8
- 6/6 117.2
As you can see, I had a couple weeks where I wasn't tracking and I wasn't sticking to the program like I should. But thankfully, due to all that I've learned over the past year, it did not lead to an on-going upward rise in weight gain...like it would in the past!
My morning clean weights have been in the 113-116 range...mostly 113-115, just a couple at 116. Even though I'd really rather be under the "teens", I realize that this is kind of a set-point for my body...a mostly easily maintainable weight...as long as I do what I'm supposed to be doing to eat healthily.
The weight creeps up when I don't...each and every time...WITHOUT FAIL. But I know it also creeps back down once I DO eat in a healthful manner...that's a really nice thing to know!
So I eat like an 80/20% thing...I can eat healthy most of the time but still have snacks and treats here and there each week. Trying to weigh less and maintain that weight would mean more of a 90/10 or even 95/5 thing. So I'm good with 113-115 = )
I took flowers to my leader, Kim, and also to the ladies who do our weigh-ins...the secretaries. They are always so encouraging and helpful and I wanted to recognize and thank them for their part in my one year maintaining milestone! Now on to the next year!
Oh yeah...I got another charm for my keychain!! And I should post a pic of my Pandora bracelet now...it's getting quite full!
In other news, Petey has been in Denver for upgrade training for the past 3 weeks...just 2 more weeks to go! He's learning how to fly the 747-400...upgrading from the 747 Classic, as they call it.
He's doing wonderfully well...I figured he would because he'd been studying and preparing so diligently even before he left for school. I was always so proud of him when I would walk by the office and see him studying. I love his work ethic!!!!
But things can turn out to be more difficult than they first appear so there was a bit of questioning and hesitation on my part. Turns out he's blown his instructor away at how prepared he is and how advanced he already was before he got there...that's my Sweety!
While he's been gone I've been doing LOTS of scrapbooking, just like I'd been looking forward to! The dining room table hasn't been cleaned off since he left = )
With the new Simple Stories scrapbook system I was able to scrapbook and journal all of 2012 in less than 2 weeks. And that's with keeping up with the yard work, house work, helping others-work, critter care and other stuff that goes on around here! But no TV... hahahaha
I've also been TOTALLY enjoying my Quiet Time every day...several times a day, actually. I have a couple Bibles that I really love and I can't wait until it's time to sit down and read, study and meditate. I first read in my Life Principles study Bible and then I'll read the study notes on that same passage in a couple other Bibles.
At other times during the day I'll read a devotional or play the piano...always ALWAYS some hymn comes to mind during my Bible study so I've been playing those after I get done reading.
The Bible book store, Mardel's, is right around the corner from the scrapbook store, Archiver's, so I've gotten some goodies from both places lately. Including some wonderful song books from Mardel's. I surely do LUUUUUUUUUUV the old hymns and gospel songs!
I've been doing more run/walking than just straight running lately but that happens more once it gets over 90*. Also, I REALLY like having Piper with me and the old boy is slowing down and I need to be more careful. I'm willing to give up running and do run/walking for his sake...even just straight walking when it comes to that!
I've also been helping a friend's son get into running. He really started running before I got involved but I've been able to run with him several times and give him pointers and advice. He's one of those kids (14 years old) that's good at EVERYTHING...he's in the gifted and talented classes at school, he's an amazing musician and, I would have NEVER guessed, he's also a talented athlete!
But I've still been going out twice a day on most days...morning and sunset. I take Piper either/or depending on how late I get up. If it's late and hot already, I'll go by myself and take him at sunset. If I'm scheduled to run with Sean that evening, I'll do a shorter walk with Piper in the morning.
Well, I think that about catches you up! Of the important stuff anyhow. I could tell you about my disappointing 5k a month ago but I'll save that for another time...gonna go have some popcorn = )
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Still settling in to the new normal...
Today completes week 40 of maintaining...and the dreaded "winter challenge" has been successfully completed...I made it through the winter without gaining weight! And now my summer shorts fit just fine...loose even!...and I don't have to do the normal "spring challenge" of losing the extra weight...HALLELUJAH!!!!
2-14 116.6 at meeting (clothes, shoes, etc)
2-21 116.4
2-28 117.4 - starting to lose it a bit
3-7 118.0 - get back on track NOW!
3-14 117.2 - ahhhh...that's better
All my adult years my life has followed this formula: a nice balance of work and pleasure - ok, maybe I can add this one thing to my schedule - yes, I guess I can help you with that - I'm already busy but I can see I'm gonna HAVE to do that - uh, I don't have time for that - bummer...I'm falling behind! - what happened??? I'm running out of time to get my daily chores done on time! - YIKES!!!! I'm WAY too busy and I'm WAY unhappy about it!! - that's it, I'm cutting everything out!! And then the cycle starts all over again = (
And that's where I am right now. I'm not adding any new responsibilities. I'm telling people "my schedule is full". I want to have time for the things and ideas that God has laid on my heart to do. It's SO easy to get pulled away from that goal...I get asked to do something else "for the church" or for someone else and it's worthy work and "someone's gotta do it" and it's hard to say no but it's WRONG for me to say yes if it causes me to say NO to the things God has shown me to do!
I had a wonderful December. And I'm thankful to God for giving me such a wonderful December because now I have a living example of what it means to live in balance...what it feels like, what choices are made, how the good frequency of different events plays out. So now I just need to make all my months match up to how I lived in December! I'm sure gonna try = ))
On the eating-right front: as you can see from my weights above, I did start having an upward spike. I hit 119.6 for one of my nightly weigh-ins. I wasn't tracking, I wasn't measuring, I was eating too many treat foods, I was allowing myself WAY too much freedom...and the inevitable happened, of course!
The thing that was different this time is that I didn't panic...my "positive-talk" kicked right in and said "you KNOW what to do...now do it!" and I did. I've started tracking a new way...a white board on my fridge. I also have all the healthy snack choices listed. I'm measuring, making better choices...and of course, the extra daily activity that comes with warmer weather helps tremendously!
I leave the previous day's tracking up so I can review it in the morning of the new day. I like having the list in front of me more frequently through the day...good reminder to be mindful about my choices. It also helps me to vary my veggie and fruit choices more. And the extra accountability of tracking "in public" can't hurt either = )
So...March is half over already. Life goes on...2 months ago today is when we saw how sick Jan was and took her to get an x-ray. Part of me can't believe she's been gone almost 2 months. Part of me can't believe she's REALLY gone at all.
I was watching for her car when I walked the dog on Tuesday evening...sometimes she would stop in at the folks' on Tuesdays after she got off work and we'd see her drive by on our walks. After a bit I realized what I was doing and felt the sadness all over again.
Her house is almost totally cleaned out. What a struggle that's been. The thing bringing me comfort right now is that her most special treasures are boxed up, here at my house, for the boys to go through sometime later.
I'm so thankful that the initial anxiety has mostly passed even though the abiding sadness has come in its place. I'm very thankful for each new day God gives me...to live for His good pleasure... to praise Him for His many wondrous gifts...to do the work He has planned for me (I WILL DO THIS!!!)...to enjoy the love of my Sweety Petey...to love on my furry babies...to run and walk in my beloved park...all of it I'm thankful for...laundry, cleaning toilets, vacuuming, even dusting...I'm alive to do it because God wills it.
At the end of my life, if people say ANYTHING other than "God" in the phrase "______was her life"....not "Petey was her life", "her dogs were her life", "running was her life"...then my life on earth will have been a complete and utter failure. My enjoyment of those fine things...Petey, my furry babies, running, friends, jewelry, crafts...will mean nothing if people who knew me think they WERE my life. I must live in such a way that everyone who knew me will say "she lived each day for God!"
2-14 116.6 at meeting (clothes, shoes, etc)
2-21 116.4
2-28 117.4 - starting to lose it a bit
3-7 118.0 - get back on track NOW!
3-14 117.2 - ahhhh...that's better
All my adult years my life has followed this formula: a nice balance of work and pleasure - ok, maybe I can add this one thing to my schedule - yes, I guess I can help you with that - I'm already busy but I can see I'm gonna HAVE to do that - uh, I don't have time for that - bummer...I'm falling behind! - what happened??? I'm running out of time to get my daily chores done on time! - YIKES!!!! I'm WAY too busy and I'm WAY unhappy about it!! - that's it, I'm cutting everything out!! And then the cycle starts all over again = (
And that's where I am right now. I'm not adding any new responsibilities. I'm telling people "my schedule is full". I want to have time for the things and ideas that God has laid on my heart to do. It's SO easy to get pulled away from that goal...I get asked to do something else "for the church" or for someone else and it's worthy work and "someone's gotta do it" and it's hard to say no but it's WRONG for me to say yes if it causes me to say NO to the things God has shown me to do!
I had a wonderful December. And I'm thankful to God for giving me such a wonderful December because now I have a living example of what it means to live in balance...what it feels like, what choices are made, how the good frequency of different events plays out. So now I just need to make all my months match up to how I lived in December! I'm sure gonna try = ))
On the eating-right front: as you can see from my weights above, I did start having an upward spike. I hit 119.6 for one of my nightly weigh-ins. I wasn't tracking, I wasn't measuring, I was eating too many treat foods, I was allowing myself WAY too much freedom...and the inevitable happened, of course!
The thing that was different this time is that I didn't panic...my "positive-talk" kicked right in and said "you KNOW what to do...now do it!" and I did. I've started tracking a new way...a white board on my fridge. I also have all the healthy snack choices listed. I'm measuring, making better choices...and of course, the extra daily activity that comes with warmer weather helps tremendously!
I leave the previous day's tracking up so I can review it in the morning of the new day. I like having the list in front of me more frequently through the day...good reminder to be mindful about my choices. It also helps me to vary my veggie and fruit choices more. And the extra accountability of tracking "in public" can't hurt either = )
So...March is half over already. Life goes on...2 months ago today is when we saw how sick Jan was and took her to get an x-ray. Part of me can't believe she's been gone almost 2 months. Part of me can't believe she's REALLY gone at all.
I was watching for her car when I walked the dog on Tuesday evening...sometimes she would stop in at the folks' on Tuesdays after she got off work and we'd see her drive by on our walks. After a bit I realized what I was doing and felt the sadness all over again.
Her house is almost totally cleaned out. What a struggle that's been. The thing bringing me comfort right now is that her most special treasures are boxed up, here at my house, for the boys to go through sometime later.
I'm so thankful that the initial anxiety has mostly passed even though the abiding sadness has come in its place. I'm very thankful for each new day God gives me...to live for His good pleasure... to praise Him for His many wondrous gifts...to do the work He has planned for me (I WILL DO THIS!!!)...to enjoy the love of my Sweety Petey...to love on my furry babies...to run and walk in my beloved park...all of it I'm thankful for...laundry, cleaning toilets, vacuuming, even dusting...I'm alive to do it because God wills it.
At the end of my life, if people say ANYTHING other than "God" in the phrase "______was her life"....not "Petey was her life", "her dogs were her life", "running was her life"...then my life on earth will have been a complete and utter failure. My enjoyment of those fine things...Petey, my furry babies, running, friends, jewelry, crafts...will mean nothing if people who knew me think they WERE my life. I must live in such a way that everyone who knew me will say "she lived each day for God!"
Monday, February 11, 2013
My Life Has Changed Forever
Little did I know when I wrote the last post almost a month ago the tragic events that were going to occur only a few days after.
That Monday afternoon, January 14th, I'd gone with my mom to a doctor appointment which was in the same building where my sister worked as a nurse for a pediatrician. She'd been sick so we decided to stop in and see her after mom's appointment.
We took her to get an x-ray and then back to mom's house to be taken care of. She seemed to be doing better by Wednesday but mom found her unresponsive on the floor Thursday morning and she died in the ER a few hours later. She had just turned 49.
I was never close with my sister. We approached life from different directions... we had opposite personalities, opposite outlooks on life, opposite desires and goals, opposite ideas about what was fun to do.
But I can't begin to describe the pain of losing her...it caught me off guard. I never expected to be close to her but I never expected to lose her either...I figured she would outlive me by many years.
To have her be gone, to be so real, to be really REALLY gone...my mind could not conceive of it for a number of days. It was too upsetting to dwell on it for any length of time so I would force my mind elsewhere. But with each next step, it became more and more real.
I struggle with anxiety, even when life is going smoothly, so the next 10 days were only survived by the grace of God, moment by moment! I KNOW I can trust God...I KNOW I should trust God...I WANT to trust God in everything...I say I trust God and I do and I try to live it out.
But I don't know how that all fits together with these panic attacks so I confess what I should, fight against this problem, give myself a break when I can, and do my best to just do the next thing.
My appetite was gone and I was dropping weight very quickly...forcing myself to eat what I could when I could. Once I hit 113 lbs on my nightly weigh-in, I quit weighing myself because seeing the weight loss only added to my anxiety.
Once the memorial service was over and the rapidly occurring, very important decisions were made and things settled down into the "new normal", my appetite returned and I gained back up to my original weight.
The Weight Watchers meeting stats:
January 17, week 32 - missed the meeting, no weight
January 24, week 33 - 115.0 at meeting, 108.6 at home, clean weight
January 31, week 34 - 116.6 at meeting, 111.0 at home
February 7 week 35 - 116.2 at meeting, 110.8 at home
I haven't been tracking for a month now but I've been maintaining my weight just fine. I find myself mentally tracking though and it seems to be ok for the moment.
I'm not saying that I'm stopping tracking but it does feel nice to not have that extra to-do item even though it's a small one. I think I might start using the paper tracker to at least write my food down and the points if I know them since I have the concern in the back of my mind that it might not be the safest thing to plan on not tracking in any way.
So...here we are today: February 11th... only 17 more days left in the "dreaded winter months" challenge...I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make it! My first winter in YEARS to not gain weight that has to be lost in the spring!!!
I still never got my bead for my Pandora bracelet and on Thursday I earn my 2nd bead. I've got them picked out...just need to go to the store to get them = )
A special thank you for those reading this that have been praying for me and my family this past month. What a wonderful gift from God. {{{hugs}}}
That Monday afternoon, January 14th, I'd gone with my mom to a doctor appointment which was in the same building where my sister worked as a nurse for a pediatrician. She'd been sick so we decided to stop in and see her after mom's appointment.
We took her to get an x-ray and then back to mom's house to be taken care of. She seemed to be doing better by Wednesday but mom found her unresponsive on the floor Thursday morning and she died in the ER a few hours later. She had just turned 49.
I was never close with my sister. We approached life from different directions... we had opposite personalities, opposite outlooks on life, opposite desires and goals, opposite ideas about what was fun to do.
But I can't begin to describe the pain of losing her...it caught me off guard. I never expected to be close to her but I never expected to lose her either...I figured she would outlive me by many years.
To have her be gone, to be so real, to be really REALLY gone...my mind could not conceive of it for a number of days. It was too upsetting to dwell on it for any length of time so I would force my mind elsewhere. But with each next step, it became more and more real.
I struggle with anxiety, even when life is going smoothly, so the next 10 days were only survived by the grace of God, moment by moment! I KNOW I can trust God...I KNOW I should trust God...I WANT to trust God in everything...I say I trust God and I do and I try to live it out.
But I don't know how that all fits together with these panic attacks so I confess what I should, fight against this problem, give myself a break when I can, and do my best to just do the next thing.
My appetite was gone and I was dropping weight very quickly...forcing myself to eat what I could when I could. Once I hit 113 lbs on my nightly weigh-in, I quit weighing myself because seeing the weight loss only added to my anxiety.
Once the memorial service was over and the rapidly occurring, very important decisions were made and things settled down into the "new normal", my appetite returned and I gained back up to my original weight.
The Weight Watchers meeting stats:
January 17, week 32 - missed the meeting, no weight
January 24, week 33 - 115.0 at meeting, 108.6 at home, clean weight
January 31, week 34 - 116.6 at meeting, 111.0 at home
February 7 week 35 - 116.2 at meeting, 110.8 at home
I haven't been tracking for a month now but I've been maintaining my weight just fine. I find myself mentally tracking though and it seems to be ok for the moment.
I'm not saying that I'm stopping tracking but it does feel nice to not have that extra to-do item even though it's a small one. I think I might start using the paper tracker to at least write my food down and the points if I know them since I have the concern in the back of my mind that it might not be the safest thing to plan on not tracking in any way.
So...here we are today: February 11th... only 17 more days left in the "dreaded winter months" challenge...I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make it! My first winter in YEARS to not gain weight that has to be lost in the spring!!!
I still never got my bead for my Pandora bracelet and on Thursday I earn my 2nd bead. I've got them picked out...just need to go to the store to get them = )
A special thank you for those reading this that have been praying for me and my family this past month. What a wonderful gift from God. {{{hugs}}}
Monday, January 14, 2013
Backing away from the cliff...
116.8 at the meeting...week 31 of maintenance!
112.8 clean weight at home
Week 6 of the Winter Challenge...half-way there!! But the toughest time will be this last half...
Did you think I'd gone over the cliff when I didn't post an update on time??? Noooo...just had a very busy weekend! It's been on my to-do list since Friday = )
I knew earlier that I'd been able to quickly, within a couple of days, get my weight back into the "good" zone but I wasn't sure it would work this time...being cold, gray, winter and the nature of the foods I overate...fatty, sugary foods compared to just bigger portions of less-fatty, less-sugary foods.
I gave myself some positive self-talk that we learned about in an earlier Weight Watchers meeting. "Ok, Pony-girl, you cannot control the weather each day...what can you control?"
"Well, Head, I can control...
- drink water
- drink green tea (as long as Betsy is agreeable)
- do at least SOME exercise
- take St Johns Wort
- stay active - up and moving, minimize sitting, even when I have to stay inside all day!
- eat filler foods that I really look forward to, enjoy and are satisfying
- fruit and yogurt
- popcorn
- apples and caramel
- applesauce and oats
- soup
So, I wrote this all down on the bookmark that moves each day in my paper planner. I also got some dedicated water bottles from Costco...made by our favorite coffee/tea/water to-go mugs...Contigo. I LOVE the new water bottles! They hold 24 oz. and are transparent (in pretty colors!) so I can see at a glance how I'm doing on my water intake.
That's another thing someone shared at my WW meeting...sometimes just drinking more water makes ALL the difference when you're REALLY struggling. Sometimes that's ALL you have to do...just drink more water than you did the day before...don't try to summon up the motivation to eat healthy or the discipline to not eat unhealthy...just drink water! So it's at the top of the list = )
I've also been using my light therapy table and it does seem to help but it's been more subtle. I do make a point to be outside exercising as much as I can when we do get a sunny day.
Speaking of exercise...on our last warm-ish sunny day I went out for a run by myself. When I go with Petey, we do a run/walk thing or take the dog or whatever. This time was going to just be a straight run, with breaks for water if I needed it.
I took my iPhone so I didn't wear the watch to keep track of my pace all the time...just got spoken mile splits. TOTALLY shocked to see the final results...4.2 miles at an average 8:56 pace! Never expected to do that after just doing treadmill running and outside run/walking for over 10 days. It felt good to be outside, in the sunshine, so I ran what I felt like instead of aiming for anything.
I still haven't gotten my bead for my Pandora bracelet...need to find that catalog and decide what to get! It's fun thinking about it though, so I don't mind waiting...builds the anticipation = )
That's all for this week...a much more encouraging blog update from a much more encouraged person!
112.8 clean weight at home
Week 6 of the Winter Challenge...half-way there!! But the toughest time will be this last half...
Did you think I'd gone over the cliff when I didn't post an update on time??? Noooo...just had a very busy weekend! It's been on my to-do list since Friday = )
I knew earlier that I'd been able to quickly, within a couple of days, get my weight back into the "good" zone but I wasn't sure it would work this time...being cold, gray, winter and the nature of the foods I overate...fatty, sugary foods compared to just bigger portions of less-fatty, less-sugary foods.
I gave myself some positive self-talk that we learned about in an earlier Weight Watchers meeting. "Ok, Pony-girl, you cannot control the weather each day...what can you control?"
"Well, Head, I can control...
- drink water
- drink green tea (as long as Betsy is agreeable)
- do at least SOME exercise
- take St Johns Wort
- stay active - up and moving, minimize sitting, even when I have to stay inside all day!
- eat filler foods that I really look forward to, enjoy and are satisfying
- fruit and yogurt
- popcorn
- apples and caramel
- applesauce and oats
- soup
So, I wrote this all down on the bookmark that moves each day in my paper planner. I also got some dedicated water bottles from Costco...made by our favorite coffee/tea/water to-go mugs...Contigo. I LOVE the new water bottles! They hold 24 oz. and are transparent (in pretty colors!) so I can see at a glance how I'm doing on my water intake.
That's another thing someone shared at my WW meeting...sometimes just drinking more water makes ALL the difference when you're REALLY struggling. Sometimes that's ALL you have to do...just drink more water than you did the day before...don't try to summon up the motivation to eat healthy or the discipline to not eat unhealthy...just drink water! So it's at the top of the list = )
I've also been using my light therapy table and it does seem to help but it's been more subtle. I do make a point to be outside exercising as much as I can when we do get a sunny day.
Speaking of exercise...on our last warm-ish sunny day I went out for a run by myself. When I go with Petey, we do a run/walk thing or take the dog or whatever. This time was going to just be a straight run, with breaks for water if I needed it.
I took my iPhone so I didn't wear the watch to keep track of my pace all the time...just got spoken mile splits. TOTALLY shocked to see the final results...4.2 miles at an average 8:56 pace! Never expected to do that after just doing treadmill running and outside run/walking for over 10 days. It felt good to be outside, in the sunshine, so I ran what I felt like instead of aiming for anything.
I still haven't gotten my bead for my Pandora bracelet...need to find that catalog and decide what to get! It's fun thinking about it though, so I don't mind waiting...builds the anticipation = )
That's all for this week...a much more encouraging blog update from a much more encouraged person!
Friday, January 4, 2013
I feel like I'm approaching a cliff...
Week 30 of Maintenance...I earned a bead for my bracelet!!
Week 5 of the Winter Challenge...hmmmm...don't really feel like I "deserve" to say I completed it but I'm hanging on...
118.4 at meeting
113.8 at home - clean weight
So, I survived Christmas but not New Year's. Or maybe the Christmas treat-eating caught up with me since I haven't been able to do my normal amount and quality of activity. Winter is officially here with gray skies, cold north winds, and damp temperatures that seem to sink right into my bones.
I was doing ok on the treadmill for a few days...maybe a week...but I'm REALLY missing the sunshine and being outside! I ordered a "light therapy" light from Costco and am hanging on til it gets here. The first sunny day we have, I'm going to spend as much of it outside as possible...find a spot out of the wind and just SOAK it up!
I guess what scares me the most is that I KNOW how the winter weight gain starts and I KNOW how it progresses and I KNOW how hard it is to fight against it and I KNOW how hard it is to resist treat foods and I KNOW how hard it is to get my daily activity (which I NEED!!) when all I want to do is stay in bed, or if I make it out of bed, to sit on the couch in front of the warm woodstove and watch old movies all day...while giving in to too much treat food or even just regular food, above and beyond the calories that I'm burning, which are minimal!!!
This past week, THIS is how it starts. And now I've got to summon strength, determination, willpower, knowledge, common sense and every tool in my tool chest to not have this winter be a repeat of last winter and the one before that and the one before that x 4.
The good part...holiday treats are almost gone. The bad part...everything else.
Hopefully this light therapy light will help. Petey will be home for all of January and probably February as he waits to be called for upgrade school. As nice as that is, he's a snacker and the suggestion of food and eating is more visible...more I have to resist.
I'm making a list of healthy foods that I really LOVE to eat...ones where I can have a large serving for minimum points...ones that SEEM to be fun, snacky foods to me...that will satisfy the desire for snacky when I really want snacky!
I know that every Weight Watchers meeting will have a subject that is spot-on for helping me through these next 2 months. I know that I WILL weigh myself every night, no matter what! I WILL keep tracking and measuring and doing my best to make healthy choices.
It always surprises me to discover just how much I depend on an above-average amount of activity to burn off what I normally eat. And how quickly I drop to a below-average amount of activity once cold weather hits. Or gray weather...or cold gray weather!
Going in to winter I think "this isn't going to be too bad! I'll just do this and this and this and this and it'll be fine!". That worked for December...now I have to figure out a way to make it through January and February. The thought of strictly denying myself for the next 8 weeks sounds daunting, if not impossible. I need to figure out something else!
Oh well...here's my chance to really put my Weight Watchers know-how to the test. I had a few failures today but also a few successes...and tomorrow is another day!
Week 5 of the Winter Challenge...hmmmm...don't really feel like I "deserve" to say I completed it but I'm hanging on...
118.4 at meeting
113.8 at home - clean weight
So, I survived Christmas but not New Year's. Or maybe the Christmas treat-eating caught up with me since I haven't been able to do my normal amount and quality of activity. Winter is officially here with gray skies, cold north winds, and damp temperatures that seem to sink right into my bones.
I was doing ok on the treadmill for a few days...maybe a week...but I'm REALLY missing the sunshine and being outside! I ordered a "light therapy" light from Costco and am hanging on til it gets here. The first sunny day we have, I'm going to spend as much of it outside as possible...find a spot out of the wind and just SOAK it up!
I guess what scares me the most is that I KNOW how the winter weight gain starts and I KNOW how it progresses and I KNOW how hard it is to fight against it and I KNOW how hard it is to resist treat foods and I KNOW how hard it is to get my daily activity (which I NEED!!) when all I want to do is stay in bed, or if I make it out of bed, to sit on the couch in front of the warm woodstove and watch old movies all day...while giving in to too much treat food or even just regular food, above and beyond the calories that I'm burning, which are minimal!!!
This past week, THIS is how it starts. And now I've got to summon strength, determination, willpower, knowledge, common sense and every tool in my tool chest to not have this winter be a repeat of last winter and the one before that and the one before that x 4.
The good part...holiday treats are almost gone. The bad part...everything else.
Hopefully this light therapy light will help. Petey will be home for all of January and probably February as he waits to be called for upgrade school. As nice as that is, he's a snacker and the suggestion of food and eating is more visible...more I have to resist.
I'm making a list of healthy foods that I really LOVE to eat...ones where I can have a large serving for minimum points...ones that SEEM to be fun, snacky foods to me...that will satisfy the desire for snacky when I really want snacky!
I know that every Weight Watchers meeting will have a subject that is spot-on for helping me through these next 2 months. I know that I WILL weigh myself every night, no matter what! I WILL keep tracking and measuring and doing my best to make healthy choices.
It always surprises me to discover just how much I depend on an above-average amount of activity to burn off what I normally eat. And how quickly I drop to a below-average amount of activity once cold weather hits. Or gray weather...or cold gray weather!
Going in to winter I think "this isn't going to be too bad! I'll just do this and this and this and this and it'll be fine!". That worked for December...now I have to figure out a way to make it through January and February. The thought of strictly denying myself for the next 8 weeks sounds daunting, if not impossible. I need to figure out something else!
Oh well...here's my chance to really put my Weight Watchers know-how to the test. I had a few failures today but also a few successes...and tomorrow is another day!
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