Week #59 - 116.0 - clothed, shoe'd and after drinking half of my shake!
I like that weight = ) I liked the 112.6 on the scale at home, my clean weight, even better!
One more week and I earn another bead for my Pandora bracelet! Then 6 more weeks after that and I can actually order the beads for weeks 54, 60 and 66. I'm concentrating on just the colored glass beads now since the two I got are SOOOOOO pretty. I want a whole rainbow!
Putting this on pause while I go pick up Buddy from the vet...he was getting his teefers cweaned = )
Back again...glad to have my Buddy home safe and sound! He's going on 12 and 1/2 so he can't have general anesthesia anymore to get his teeth cleaned. They used a mild sedation and I'm going to do EVERYTHING in my power to keep his teeth clean!
Anyhow...ever since last week's post, I've been thinking alot about what I wrote. I feel badly that perhaps it came across as harsh or judgmental or callous. So I've been meditating on: #1 - do I really believe what I wrote? and #2 - why do I feel so strongly about it?
I've also been wishing I was better with words...I always feel like I don't do a good job getting my point across or maybe I get my point across but not with the compassion and understanding that I feel when I write it.
So, yes to #1 and here's my answer to #2:
A girl in my Weight Watchers group has given me permission to use her as an example of the point I'm trying to make. Tiffany is amazing...she has approached her weight-loss journey with the most logic and common sense that I've witnessed from anyone.
Tiffany speaks alot about "owning" her number...the number on the scale or the size of her clothes, whatever it might be. She has already lost over 80 pounds and is still planning on losing at least another 50 more.
Whatever the scale says each week when she weighs in, that's HER number. It's reflective of her great, good, ok or bad choices in the previous week...but it's HER number. She's not trying to get everyone to say she's at a healthy weight and accept her as such. She knows she still has more pounds to lose to be at a healthy weight...but she also knows, and we all know too!, that she most definitely is at a HEALTHIER weight than when she started her journey.
After thinking about the issue all week, I think this is what it boils down to for me:
- there most definitely is a weight range or body fat percentage range that everyone... nutritionists, doctors, lay people...would consider a healthy weight or a healthy body fat. And, conversely, there would be a weight/height ratio along with body fat/muscle mass ratio that in general would be considered unhealthy, no matter what kind of activity you could manage to complete.
- there seems to be a push to accept ALL sizes and types and fat percentages as HEALTHY just because they completed a 5k or 10k or half marathon or even marathon. "Hey, I did a marathon, that must mean I'm healthy and I can keep doing what I'm doing! Let's go celebrate with donuts!!"
I'm not talking about those people who are HEALTHIER...who were even more overweight and are on the journey to truly be in a healthy weight range...and using running and racing to help them get there. My admiration knows no bounds for those people!!
It just eats me up inside to see these 250 to 300 pounds and higher women walking a 9 hour marathon or a 5 hour half marathon and then stuffing, STUFFING themselves all through the race and afterwards (I've seen it with my own eyes!) but feel that they're doing a great thing for their bodies and they don't need to change a thing. And they're getting support from each other and DEMANDING support and acceptance from the running community and everyone else.
I don't want to participate in any way in helping them to feel happy and comfortable believing themselves to be at a healthy weight...they're NOT. Now if they know they're not...YET... but are working towards that, then great...I will be their biggest cheerleader!! I love to see larger folk out there on the roads...it's so encouraging to me! I used to BE one of those larger folk and I enjoyed running greatly.
But I knew I wasn't healthy just because I ran and worked out. I KNEW I was overweight and not at a healthy weight and my body fat was too high and I wasn't fooling myself into believing that just because I ran 5 miles, I could eat whatever I wanted and however much of it I wanted for the rest of the day. I owned my numbers.
And I don't want to help someone else feel good about being overweight and unhealthy. How caring is that? It's not! It's encouraging someone to continue to harm their body but feel good about it....I refuse to do that.
So...now maybe I can have some peace about this. It does serve as an excellent reminder to myself...I must guard SO CAREFULLY my tendency to gain weight. It happens SO easily and SO quickly and that's SO discouraging!
But I'm determined, and here's why...I read this the other day and I LOVE IT!!
"My God is a great God and He deserves a great temple!" That's my body!! I want my body to reflect His glory...to be a great temple!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
I also want my mind to glorify God...and my emotions...and my actions...with every breath God gives me. I strive, I struggle, I do fail, I strive again!
And that's all I have to say about that = )
Vicki, when were you ever heavy/in the big category.? Never from what I've seen over the years. You've always been on the lighter side of weight. I agree with you about the obese, it's not about exercise and health if they continue to abuse their bodies. That's what happened to the US, convenience would be one reason we have an epidemic of children coming up in the ranks of the overweight. I have neighbors that don't cook regular meals and have children so they are teaching their children it's ok to survive on fast food take out. How sad.
ReplyDeleteAunt Ginny, yes, unfortunately, I was in the heavy/big/borderline obese (BMI numbers) for several years. My weight started creeping up in my late 20's and then made some pretty big jumps during the time I was fighting the endometriosis...doing lots of hormone manipulation trying to get some relief.
ReplyDeleteThen when I had the total hysterectomy at age 35...FREEDOM DAY...as I call it!...and went cold turkey into menopause, my weight increased dramatically. I tried and fought and fought and tried and even with all that hard work and even with being a regular runner, my weight continued to creep up.
I also went through a pretty deep depression for awhile...not sure if the extra weight brought it on or the depression worsened my weight gain but bottom line is, I've experienced life as a fat person and I know of what I speak.
On October 30, 2003 I started following the Weight Watchers program. I didn't join or go to meetings...I ordered the points books off of ebay and followed it on my own. I VERY determinedly followed it on my own! By July of 2004 I'd lost 68.5 pounds...I felt and looked and ran FANTASTICALLY! hahahahaha
I did very well for about 3 years and then my weight started creeping up over the winter months. I'd work it back down during the Spring but then the next winter would come and I'd gain some, plus some more and have more to lose come Spring.
Finally, in April of last year, I was sick and tired of the gaining/losing cycle and wanted to maintain my weight all year round. So this time I joined Weight Watchers for real...I've only missed one meeting in one year and 4 months! And I'm on week #60 for maintaining = )
Anyhow, I'm glad you never saw me fat so you don't have that picture in your mind of me. Whenever I see a picture of myself from those days I just want to find a rock and crawl under it. How could I let that happen to myself??? Well, I know how...the same thing that happens to lots of overweight people...they try to lose weight, have a bit of success after working SOOOOOOOOO hard and determine that they "just can't lose the weight"..."it's in my genetics" and "I can be this weight and still be healthy".
NO! You can't! Not when you're 50, 60 or 100 pounds overweight! You maybe can be healthy with an extra 20 pounds but don't fool yourself into thinking that you're just fine at 60 pounds overweight!
And that's what gets me so upset and that's why I wrote this blog. I was in a position where I'd given up, mostly, and my sister just died a month past her 49th birthday because she had given up and I don't want anyone else to give up and accept themselves being that overweight. You shouldn't and you can't and BOO to anyone who makes you feel good about yourself being fat so that you stay that way and die an early death = (((