Today completes week 40 of maintaining...and the dreaded "winter challenge" has been successfully completed...I made it through the winter without gaining weight! And now my summer shorts fit just fine...loose even!...and I don't have to do the normal "spring challenge" of losing the extra weight...HALLELUJAH!!!!
2-14 116.6 at meeting (clothes, shoes, etc)
2-21 116.4
2-28 117.4 - starting to lose it a bit
3-7 118.0 - get back on track NOW!
3-14 117.2 - ahhhh...that's better
All my adult years my life has followed this formula: a nice balance of work and pleasure - ok, maybe I can add this one thing to my schedule - yes, I guess I can help you with that - I'm already busy but I can see I'm gonna HAVE to do that - uh, I don't have time for that - bummer...I'm falling behind! - what happened??? I'm running out of time to get my daily chores done on time! - YIKES!!!! I'm WAY too busy and I'm WAY unhappy about it!! - that's it, I'm cutting everything out!! And then the cycle starts all over again = (
And that's where I am right now. I'm not adding any new responsibilities. I'm telling people "my schedule is full". I want to have time for the things and ideas that God has laid on my heart to do. It's SO easy to get pulled away from that goal...I get asked to do something else "for the church" or for someone else and it's worthy work and "someone's gotta do it" and it's hard to say no but it's WRONG for me to say yes if it causes me to say NO to the things God has shown me to do!
I had a wonderful December. And I'm thankful to God for giving me such a wonderful December because now I have a living example of what it means to live in balance...what it feels like, what choices are made, how the good frequency of different events plays out. So now I just need to make all my months match up to how I lived in December! I'm sure gonna try = ))
On the eating-right front: as you can see from my weights above, I did start having an upward spike. I hit 119.6 for one of my nightly weigh-ins. I wasn't tracking, I wasn't measuring, I was eating too many treat foods, I was allowing myself WAY too much freedom...and the inevitable happened, of course!
The thing that was different this time is that I didn't panic...my "positive-talk" kicked right in and said "you KNOW what to do...now do it!" and I did. I've started tracking a new way...a white board on my fridge. I also have all the healthy snack choices listed. I'm measuring, making better choices...and of course, the extra daily activity that comes with warmer weather helps tremendously!
I leave the previous day's tracking up so I can review it in the morning of the new day. I like having the list in front of me more frequently through the day...good reminder to be mindful about my choices. It also helps me to vary my veggie and fruit choices more. And the extra accountability of tracking "in public" can't hurt either = )
So...March is half over already. Life goes on...2 months ago today is when we saw how sick Jan was and took her to get an x-ray. Part of me can't believe she's been gone almost 2 months. Part of me can't believe she's REALLY gone at all.
I was watching for her car when I walked the dog on Tuesday evening...sometimes she would stop in at the folks' on Tuesdays after she got off work and we'd see her drive by on our walks. After a bit I realized what I was doing and felt the sadness all over again.
Her house is almost totally cleaned out. What a struggle that's been. The thing bringing me comfort right now is that her most special treasures are boxed up, here at my house, for the boys to go through sometime later.
I'm so thankful that the initial anxiety has mostly passed even though the abiding sadness has come in its place. I'm very thankful for each new day God gives me...to live for His good pleasure... to praise Him for His many wondrous gifts...to do the work He has planned for me (I WILL DO THIS!!!)...to enjoy the love of my Sweety Petey...to love on my furry babies...to run and walk in my beloved park...all of it I'm thankful for...laundry, cleaning toilets, vacuuming, even dusting...I'm alive to do it because God wills it.
At the end of my life, if people say ANYTHING other than "God" in the phrase "______was her life"....not "Petey was her life", "her dogs were her life", "running was her life"...then my life on earth will have been a complete and utter failure. My enjoyment of those fine things...Petey, my furry babies, running, friends, jewelry, crafts...will mean nothing if people who knew me think they WERE my life. I must live in such a way that everyone who knew me will say "she lived each day for God!"
