...last fall!
On Friday we were out and about helping my nephew find an apartment near his new place of employment. I kept seeing my reflection in the glass doors of the leasing offices. I didn't look chubby...plump...overweight...fat!! I just looked normal...average = )
Then I laid my hand on my stomach...it wasn't sticking out! I felt for "love handles"...just a bit! Even my legs looked trimmer...my face, thinner. A little thrill of joy rippled through my being!
Almost 9 years ago when I first embarked on losing the major chunk of weight, I started a list of all the benefits that happened as the scale came down and the inches came off. I've been trying hard to find that list so I could share it with you all but haven't found it yet.
But that got me to thinking about the non-number related goals that I have for my body and fitness at present...listed in order of importance (or what's bugging me the most!) (and I realize that my openness and honesty is putting me in a position of embarrassment and humiliation):
#1 - lose enough weight so the tops of my inner thighs aren't rubbing together making the under-shorts of my running skirt bunch and ride up...SOOOO irritating!!
#2 - lose the extra fat on my stomach so it doesn't jiggle and bounce as I'm running...or when I poke it while laying down...or sitting on the couch...or in the shower...I HATE that jelly-jiggly-ness!
#3 - lower my per-mile pace back down to what I feel is a respectable time...for my age and ability
#4 - get back into all the neat shorts and skirts I bought last summer! The Eddie Bauer store at Fairfield Outlet Mall was having a mega-sale and I stocked up = ) How sad to not have them fit as the weather warms up = (
So...all of these areas are improving but they're not there yet. And I don't know whether the goals will be reached when I hit my goal weight number but I keep remembering my running-bud, Deanna...
I'm SO thankful to know healthy runners! Deanna is also a mountain climber and several summers ago was working on lowering her fat ratio and raising her muscle mass.
I had a scary thought a few days ago..."what if I reach my goal weight but I'm not happy with my size or current running condition?!" That's when I remembered Deanna! I will just do what she did...concentrate on lean proteins, lower fat, healthy foods and strength training! Maybe not as much as she did but enough to help me change the fat/muscle ratio without losing more weight.
Another interesting thing to tell you all is that I've been tracking my food digitally on my iPad, iPod and cell phone. It's working well...I'm not missing writing the food down in a paper journal and I'm staying on track. Now if I could just handle my calendar and to-do list digitally!
My rate of weight loss has slowed down and I struggle to not have that bother me. I usually get discouraged for a bit and then do that "positive self-talk" and cheer myself back up!
I'm still CONSTANTLY telling myself that this is for the rest of my life...it's the long-haul...working through this learning phase will only help me in the maintaining phase.
And I'm also still having to squash that "negative voice" telling me that I won't be able to do it...I'll fail again, just like last time and the time before that and the time before that.
In one way I'm looking forward to the fall and winter to have the chance to apply all that I've learned and prove to myself that I CAN DO IT! In another way I'm quite apprehensive about the fall and winter and possibly discovering that I CAN'T DO IT!!!
ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! And for the person who commented about "why do you need to do Weight Watchers?" this is the EXACT reason why!!!
