The Beginning:
I was a small baby right off the bat. 5 pounds, 2 ounces...lost weight, spent some time in an incubator (this was back in the day when any baby under 5 pounds had to be in an incubator... no longer the case).
I was a small child...amazing to look back on my yearly check-ups...18 pounds at one year, 28 pounds at 4 years. I remember the day I first hit triple digits as a sophomore in high school...and then promptly went back into double-digits.
The highest weight I can remember in my early adulthood years was 108 (19 years old)...right before I was diagnosed with giardia and dropped 16 pounds over the next 6 weeks. I never got back up to triple digits. Then I met Petey...
Because of excitement and/or anxiety during our courtship, I had trouble eating and keeping food down. I weighed 89 pounds the day we got married (at age 20) and 95 pounds at a check-up I had when I was 25.
I mostly stayed in double-digits until I was 27...and got off the pill = (
Then things changed in a BIG way...and I was totally unprepared for the change! I did not even realize what was happening to me, even when my clothes got tight and uncomfortable. I just figured they were wearing out and shrinking!
Until a friend of Petey's came to visit and said the life-changing words to me... "are you pregnant???!!!" Yes, exactly with that kind of emphasis too! I didn't even know what he was talking about until he sent us pictures from his visit.
There it was, right before my eyes...proof that I was, indeed, fat. After two and a half decades of being underweight, smaller than average, eat what I want, the only concern being to keep weight ON...now I'm fat and I don't even know how it happened. YIKES!!
So my first real diet was called Eat Well, Live Well. I already knew that I would not be following any unhealthy diets...I believe that that is not pleasing to God to treat HIS body in such an unhealthy way as to "crash diet" or "grapefruit diet". It had to be a healthy and reasonable way to eat.
Eat Well, Live Well was designed by a Christian lady who was featured on Focus on the Family. It is a SUPER healthy way to eat and I lost 30 pounds...down to 108, which is what the chart in Eat Well, Live Well suggested I should weigh. (5'4", small frame)
{A side note...I realize that some readers may not feel that 138 lbs. is fat and it would probably be more correct to say "overweight" but believe me, on my teeny-tiny frame 138 lbs. DOES make me look fat! It's made worse by my genetic predisposition to gain most of the excess weight around my middle and then also having very narrow hips...my fat shows way more than someone who gains around the hips and upper thighs!}
Back to the story...Eat Well, Live Well was definitely a healthy diet, but not reasonable for the long term. I see that now. I understand how a diet that is SO restrictive is not practical, or even do-able, for the rest of your life.
It was my first experience with being uber-disciplined, watching the weight come off at 2 pounds per week, the thrill of reaching goal weight, getting new clothes in smaller sizes....and then gaining it all back, plus some as soon as I hit goal weight!
And again, I was at a loss as to what happened??? How am I fat again???!!! I look back now on the weight chart that I kept during that time. I do remember being so happy to reach goal weight and thinking, "now I can eat THAT again...now I can stop measuring portions...I don't have to write everything down now...now I can eat what I really want at restaurants!"
WHAT WAS I THINKING??!!!! I hit goal weight and immediately went back to eating the way I had before...the way that caused me to gain the weight in the first place. And honestly, it never dawned on me exactly what was happening, until I weighed just as much as I did before = (
When I look at the weight chart that I so faithfully kept...losing 2 pounds a week til goal weight, then gaining back 1-2 pounds a week...it was MY body that was stepping on the scale...my hand that was recording the weight. Why didn't I stop? Why didn't I say to myself, "STOP!!! You're gaining it all back!! Go back to eating the way you did to lose the weight!!!"
And then...the long suspected endometriosis went full blown. I believe being on the pill from age 20-27 kept it from going too far out of control and bought me some time.
The years from 28 - 35 are a blur of pain, more pain, medicine, gain weight, surgery, try this, try that, gain more weight, excruciating pain, turn into a grumpy, crabby person I did not like, depression, "please, God, just let me die".
Hormone manipulation might be helpful in some instances but I believe it should be approached VERY cautiously. In hindsight, I wish that I had just had the hysterectomy at 30 instead of trying to hold off, not really living during those years and then finally getting some relief at 35 when I got spayed!
To be continued...
