What's In a Number?

I've had numbers on the brain for several days now. I've been reviewing the food journals that I kept 8-9 years ago when I first did Weight Watchers "unofficially" = )

They are encouraging (I lost it once, I can do it again, maybe I'll run faster too!) and discouraging (I worked SO hard to never weigh this much again and now, here I am, weighing this much and having to work hard again when I never thought I would) and shedding light on what went wrong and what I need to get back to doing.

For instance, my last entry in the food journal was September 30, 2005. Why did I stop? I have ZERO memory of that time. I don't know whether I decided:

- I've done this long enough (nearly 2 years), I know the system, I don't have to write stuff down anymore

- from my notes I see that I was discouraged because I was weighing 100 pounds consistently and I had convinced myself that I would be double-digits for the rest of my life...I was REALLY bothered by this! so maybe I decided I wasn't going to weigh myself consistently and keep a food journal

- did life just get busy???

I really wish I could remember = (

I also found another food journal with tracking for a few days in 2007 and a few months in 2008. I know I have other notebooks around that were used in 2009, 2010, 2011. I know deep in my heart that journaling is necessary for me to maintain a certain weight...that's why I keep going back to it.

But for some reason, which I still haven't identified, I allow myself to stop journaling my food! Usually followed by my weight creeping up and then I stop weighing myself too.

But here are some things I've decided about that time:

- weighing double-digits is an unrealistic expectation and not the best guideline to shoot for

- I must must must MUST keep a food journal! I'm telling myself over and over that just like I plan on reading my Bible every day and I can't imagine going to bed without brushing my teeth every day, I WILL keep track of what I eat, someway, somehow, EVERY DAY.

- I will not stop weighing myself if the numbers creep up and I get discouraged. I must figure out some other way to deal with this instead of telling myself lame excuses and believing them all the while gaining more and more weight = (

- I need to somehow get it sunk deep into my brain that I do not need "treats" every day or every couple of days. Treats are treats because they're meant to be special. If I want to include something I consider a "treat" in my eating every day, I need to account for it with my WW points...so I can eat it and not feel guilty OR treated.

Something else that was amazing was seeing the paces I was running for training runs...lots of sub-8:00 stuff! I wasn't racing as much because we lived out in the country but man oh man...I had one training run of just over 10k distance that's faster than my racing 10k PR!

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to run that fast again but I'm also pretty sure that I can run a whole lot faster than I can right now! hahahaha

So, here's another area of numbers that I've been thinking about: how numbers motivate us to lose weight or get more fit.

- some want to weigh a certain number of pounds

- some want a certain BMI or body fat percentage

- some (Junebug!) are aiming to lift more weight or do more sit-ups or move higher in their CrossFit competition = )

- some want to wear certain size clothing...either based on the size they wore when they remember feeling the healthiest or some other size that is personal to them as a goal

- some are aiming for a certain waist size...medical doctors have told us that below a certain waist size for men and women, the health risks decrease dramatically

- some have been told to lose weight to get their cholesterol, A1C, blood sugar level, or blood pressure down to a certain number

- we can have our metabolism tested to see how many calories we burn at rest... we have nutritional information on most foods and drinks...we have watches and techy things to tell us how many calories we are burning

{My Nike FuelBand will be arriving soon! I believe it will be another tool to remind me to stay active and make it more fun}

- and now with Weight Watchers, I am counting points instead of calories, which I believe to be a better system...but that's information for a future blog post = )

But the biggest reason I've been thinking about numbers, specifically a goal weight, is because I have to decide on one before too long. To become a Lifetime Member in Weight Watchers, you maintain your goal weight, plus or minus 2 pounds, for 6 weeks. That is my goal...to "reach Lifetime".

And to maintain Lifetime, you do a once a month weigh-in where you are still required to be within 2 pounds, plus or minus, of your goal weight. So deciding on your goal weight is a BIG DEAL.

So here's my dilemma...if I make the weight too high, I will lose to that amount and then I WILL NOT be able to lose beyond that for 6 weeks, at least, and then will have to try to maintain that monthly.

If I make my goal weight too low, it might possibly be a struggle to maintain that weight long-term. And I know myself well enough to know that if it's too much of a struggle, I'm likely to fail = (

The problem I have is that my weight fluctuates (or I ALLOW my weight to fluctuate!) over the course of a year. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I have no trouble maintaining 115-119 during the summer but come winter, that gets harder and harder to do.

But if I set my goal weight based on my winter weight, I will have to stop losing pounds before I'm at a happy point for this summer and then eat extra food, or at least more calorie dense food, next summer when my weight naturally drops due to a higher activity level and a lower appetite level due to more sunshine.

The number that I'm feeling the most comfortable with is 120 pounds...allowing me a range of 118 - 122. We weigh with our clothes and shoes on so that would translate to a 115 - 119 body weight.

Hmmmm...that's just what I told ya'll is my easily maintained SUMMER weight. I didn't think about my "nekkid" weight.

So if I'm comfortable with 118 - 122 clothes-less weight for year-round, that would mean 122 - 126 fully dressed with shoes for weigh-in at the meetings...so a declared goal weight of 124. That actually sounds do-able long-term = )

Now maybe you're beginning to understand why I've been thinking about these numbers so much!

The other reason I've been thinking about numbers...and this is the last thing, I promise...is that some people are able to never weigh themselves. They have a certain pair of pants that they use as a gauge...when the waist starts getting tight, they cut back. If it gets too loose, they eat a bit extra for a day or two...A BIT EXTRA FOR A DAY OR TWO are the operative words!

I've tried the "I'm not going to weigh myself, just keep this pair of pants handy" and it does not work for me = ( For some reason, I need to see that NUMBER on the scale to prove to myself that I need to go lighter for the day or fit in extra activity.

So just like I plan on keeping a daily food journal, I also plan on weighing myself every day. I weigh at night because I'm checking my hydration level and it gives me the most accurate body fat percentage.

Also because weighing first thing in the morning is not accurate due to multiple trips to the bathroom before heading out to run...my fellow running-buds will understand!

And now I'm off to weigh myself and go to bed. But I already know my weight will be higher than normal because I just ate a big bowl of cottage cheese and beets and drank 16 oz. of water for a very late supper since I was bathing 5 kittens... who desperately need good homes...PLEEEEEEEEASE!!!!