Crazy, mixed-up body

Week 25 of maintenance

116.6 at meeting - sweater and leather belt to hold up my pants! pockets empty though...and the receptionist was very understanding about my weight-loss since I'm under a doctor's care...even though I'm below their minimum weight limit 

WHEW! Nice to not have to worry about trying to artificially weigh "up" 

110.8  clean weight at home

Here's my recommendation for weight-loss and maintenance...DON'T EAT JUNK...simple as that! Just eat real food, all the time. Ok, you can have Nilla Wafers...but no chips, crackers, candy, cookies, cake, pie, etc.  And no low-fat, imitation junk food either!

Seriously, I'm to the point of trying to eat enough to stop the weight loss. I still have to be very careful about what I eat...I approach everything with caution except for the very most "safe" foods...which I'm good and tired of...so no danger of over-eating them!

It seems like every day I eat something that bothers Betsy to some degree. Nothing that has approached the really bad painful burning...well, except for the BBQ Pop Chips I had one evening...yes, I knew better...but thought it would only be minor discomfort! WRONG-O!

Anyhow, it's been one month since being diagnosed with IC and I feel I have a very good handle on what to do and what not to do. I bought special seat cushions that help alot, especially for church, since that's the one place I sit the most at any given time during the week!

Unfortunately, I've started having some other painful issues with other "places"...even more unmentionable than Betsy the Bladder! I don't know if they are related to the IC or are separate issues. I'm trying different treatments to see if I can get "things" to improve.

And I'm fighting the feeling of my body going quickly downhill and me turning into a sickly, bed-ridden lump of junk who spends her days in a pain-pill haze or pain-filled hours until I die a slow death, no use to anyone, myself included!

I had a painful episode on Saturday afternoon...I could not hold back the tears anymore... not from being sad but from the PAIN! I was getting a hot shower to see if that would help but it was just getting worse and worse and WORSE.

I wrapped up in a towel and laid on the bed. Thankfully, the worst of the pain eased off almost immediately. But I was scared to get up...scared the pain would come back...and not go away again!! I did manage to get dressed and go out to the couch where I laid in the recliner for a couple of hours.

And then when I did get up, the horrible pain didn't come back...another WHEW! and THANK YOU, GOD!!

I did feel hints of that pain on Sunday morning as I was leaving for church but I worked on relaxing the "nether-regions" and it never got beyond mild discomfort. I felt it again today while running and for several hours after running but again, it didn't go into that unbearable pain I had on Saturday. And went away altogether after awhile.

I'm thinking..."do I have cancer??? is this some kind of endometriosis coming back??? is it something to do with IC or not??? could I even describe it to a doctor well enough for him/her to have a chance at finding the cause??? would I go through a bunch of painful and expensive tests only to be told they couldn't find 'anything' and then I'd be right back where I started from??!!!" 

This is why I try SO HARD to self-treat at home! If I can narrow down what makes something worse or better, I can help myself and possibly have better results than seeing a doctor. 

So...this feels like a crazy blog post...from a crazy, mixed up person trying to figure out her crazy, mixed up body and how to feel good and be active and pursue the things that bring her joy!